Congratulations. Or not.
Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML
Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a father. Too bad I can't tell my wife. FML
Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML
Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking. I jokingly stated, "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out, "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML
Today, my fiance told me he thought it was time that we started to see other people. I'm six months pregnant with his baby. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend is four months pregnant. She can't wait for us to be parents. I guess she forgot that I haven't seen her in 7 months. FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML
Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
Today, I found out that I was conceived during a conjugal visit. FML
Today, I found out my soon-to-be husband and father of my unborn child is already married to another man. FML
Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML
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Top comments
Mungolikecandy 19
If you are the father (a DNA test in these circumstances is always a good idea) time to step up.
TCRII 30
Get an attorney ASAP to protect your rights. You should negotiate a DNA test, visitation, parental rights, religion, money, etc.
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Comments (13)
TCRII 30
Get an attorney ASAP to protect your rights. You should negotiate a DNA test, visitation, parental rights, religion, money, etc.
Mathalamus 25
Why? If the man doesn't want the child,he should not want anything to do with said child.
riley873 21
but if he doesn't negotiate for it now the mother could **** him over later
Inkoseh 33
Doesn't matter if he wants the child or not. If the DNA proves its his, finding out custody and child support early helps so he's not blindsided. He may realize he doesn't mind having a child, and it saves him $2-400 a month in child support.
Mungolikecandy 19
If you are the father (a DNA test in these circumstances is always a good idea) time to step up.
RichardPencil 32
Well, that's the one! Congrats on your wedding and new baby!
mfranks19891989 10
7 months ago you had sex and now in 2 months you will be a father and in 20 years your child can put a mean up that say 21 years ago 2 people had sex and now I have to work ( I think that’s how it goes I’ve only Sean it once on Facebook
JackWood 21
Did you not know that's how babies are made?
ahabsfan 17
Your last name isn’t Skywalker by chance is it?
shannon2348 14
and you obviously didn't use protection so....ydi
Forinil 11
Because protection is 100% reliable and never ever fails.
AmbrosiaFan 19
Abstinence is the only 100% effective method.
ThatOneLonelyAsian 31
nothing's 100% not even the woman
raven_of_azarath 35
Or as the meme says, 99% effective. Mary was a virgin, after all.
Michael Sawyer 11
Mary carried and gave birth to Jesus without the touch of a man...BUT SHE WAS MARRIED. she was NO VIRGIN.
E2dav 5
Although you don't sound too happy about it, congratulations. It sounds like at least she wants you involved in the baby's upbringing. If it's yours, time to take responsibility.
Andross87 6
Definitely get a DNA test. Full term pregnancies are 40 weeks (10 months) long. There’s a chance that the child is not yours.
Surewhatever 36
40 weeks is 9 months. A week is 7 days, 4weeks= 28 days. So every month there's 2-3 days extra and it works out to 9 months. Just sayin.
raven_of_azarath 35
It’s 9 calendar months maybe, but if you go on the accepted assumption that one month is four weeks, the 40/4=10. 10 months. It all depends on what you consider a month.
Michael Sawyer 11
not all months are only 4 weeks. of the 12 months in the year ONLY February is exactly 4 weeks(28 days). Most have 4.5-5 weeks in each month.
AmbrosiaFan 19
That's the risk when you stick it in..