Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
Today, I awoke from a bizarre dream where I, a man, was pregnant. If that wasn’t weird enough, when I gave birth, it was a pug puppy. FML
Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML
Today, I look five months pregnant, but alas I'm just full of shit. I wish I could poop. FML
Today, I woke up at 1 a.m., after having a nightmare that I was pregnant. I took pregnancy test, and… baby boy or girl in May 2025? FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I buried my 8-year-old son two weeks ago and had my husband serve me divorce papers three days ago. FML
Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, after dumping my fiancé and altering my life following my therapist's advice so I could be free and self-sufficient, I finally feel like I'm in control of my life! However, I just had a dream where I was married to my ex and had two beautiful babies, and I cried so hard I had to call out sick. What have I done? FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
That stinks.
Fully_fml 0
Haha I love how this worded!
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Comments (229)
cjulian 2
win!!
alexd375 2
seanreddog my friend, u look like a rapist
alexd375 2
spoilr alert: this isnt real bcuz GIRLS DONT SHIT!!!
hockeyhood66 0
beautiful.
catlover1234 0
some woman end up pooping when they are pushing the baby out so if it was during child birth then it's normal. of it wasn't I hope you were on the toliet And alexd375 you must be extremely stupid if you think girls can't/don't take ***** because we do EVERYBODY GOES POO except for people and animals th at are dead
goonie85 0
Nope, even they poop after death because they no longer have control of their sphincters. If they've got urine and feces in there, they lose it. Trust me, I've seen it *shudders*
sabbathblck666 5
lol i'm sorry but was your husband/boyfriend/whatever at the time sleeping next to you? if so that really sucks for both of you :)
fi_fi 0
hahahaha LMAO but as i was reading it i thought u gave birth to the baby in reality as well XDD
bleedforMayheM 0
AHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
DiNgD0ng 0
you fail on epic proportions but thats hilarious tho
ThatBrownChick 0
um no offence, I don't really see the FML in this..
katdaiken 16
What are you smoking and why aren't you sharing?