Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
Today, I awoke from a bizarre dream where I, a man, was pregnant. If that wasn’t weird enough, when I gave birth, it was a pug puppy. FML
Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML
Today, I look five months pregnant, but alas I'm just full of shit. I wish I could poop. FML
Today, I woke up at 1 a.m., after having a nightmare that I was pregnant. I took pregnancy test, and… baby boy or girl in May 2025? FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I buried my 8-year-old son two weeks ago and had my husband serve me divorce papers three days ago. FML
Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, after dumping my fiancé and altering my life following my therapist's advice so I could be free and self-sufficient, I finally feel like I'm in control of my life! However, I just had a dream where I was married to my ex and had two beautiful babies, and I cried so hard I had to call out sick. What have I done? FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
That stinks.
Fully_fml 0
Haha I love how this worded!
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Comments (229)
TwoFlushTurd 0
Wear a diaper next time you go to bed.
Annakins 0
^__________________^ Kekeke.
TheComputerGuy96 16
I call fake. First, you'll never know how painful giving birth is until you are doing it. Second, even if you gave birth before, you should know that there is that thing that makes you forget everything about it. Not that I'm an expert about this but I know a little bit.
Annakins 0
I wasn't talking about giving birth, I was talking about ******** myself when I had a dream about giving birth. Of COURSE it's not painful when it's in a dream, it's a dream! In my dream I pushed, in real life I pushed at the same time as I was pushing in my dream, resulting in an uncalled for bowel movement while I was unconscious.
PaintTheStars 2
Who are you even commenting to????
crzyry 6
I'm curious Computer"guy", just how many babies have you had?
doolflex 1
ha
ashylarry 0
how is this a fml? "today I did something natural. fml" okayyyyyyy.
nerdsgetmehot 23
#163 Because the OP pooped in her bed.
ivyshade 0
surprised you didn't actually give birth with all that pushing...fyl
PaintTheStars 2
at least you didn't push out your baby
dugumit 0
ur a nasty op.
fairies633 8
ewwww!!!!! you deserve it you nasty *****!
Moemoemoe_fml 0
Your mother should have swallowed. You are clearly the product of someone taking a piss in the gene pool.