Today, I am 9 months pregnant. I had a dream where I successfully pushed and gave birth to my son. Meanwhile, in the real world, I successfully pushed and gave birth to a large dump. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband jolted in bed and while still half-asleep said, "I had a nightmare; I dreamt we had a kid." I'm 8 months pregnant. FML
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
Today, I awoke from a bizarre dream where I, a man, was pregnant. If that wasn’t weird enough, when I gave birth, it was a pug puppy. FML
Today, I am seven months pregnant with my third child. I woke up to my two-and-a-half year old trying to "pop the balloon" in my tummy. FML
Today, I look five months pregnant, but alas I'm just full of shit. I wish I could poop. FML
Today, I woke up at 1 a.m., after having a nightmare that I was pregnant. I took pregnancy test, and… baby boy or girl in May 2025? FML
Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I buried my 8-year-old son two weeks ago and had my husband serve me divorce papers three days ago. FML
Today, I was told that I will be a father in 2 months. I had a one night stand about 7 months ago. FML
Today, my mom is going with me for a general check-up at the doctor's office. She just told me she had a nightmare last night that she went to the doctor with me, and he told her I'm pregnant. I am pregnant. I was about to tell her. FML
Today, after dumping my fiancé and altering my life following my therapist's advice so I could be free and self-sufficient, I finally feel like I'm in control of my life! However, I just had a dream where I was married to my ex and had two beautiful babies, and I cried so hard I had to call out sick. What have I done? FML
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Top comments
Freeze_fml 17
That stinks.
Fully_fml 0
Haha I love how this worded!
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Comments (229)
mayaaaxoxo 0
hahaha that's gross
ac3th3emoangel 0
um....dosnt shit come out ur ass and not your vag
AbnormalAshley 0
No for girls it comes out of our vaginas. (;
redtigerlily 5
Not too much of a big deal, it happens sometimes. It happened with like 6 of my family members.
JE163 0
I lol'd so hard to this one. Sorry OP, sucks for you, but that shit is funny!
1d1r1a1g1o1n 0
That "dump" WAS your son. Asshole.
iLoveUnionJ 8
did you read it properly?? She didnt have the baby, she just dreamed about it. Wow, some people...
AbnormalAshley 0
Wait so I'm confused. 1.was the op dreaming and taking a shit in her sleep or 2. in the hospital and instead of pushing the baby out she pushed out a poo?
Intoxicunt 6
God, some people are slow. Ok, she was at home, just having a regular night's sleep. She happened to dream she was giving birth, and woke up having shit the bed. Just like when people dream they went to the bathroom and wake up soaked in piss, or dream they ate French fries and wake up chewing on their fingers. Same deal.
redflash10 0
omg 79 I love your pic!! this is nasty. but it's common to poo while giving birth. you just should have poohed in your dream also! haha
crazedguy 0
looks like ur in *puts on glasses* a sticky situation YEAYEEAAAAHHHHH
MrsKali 1
my husband says afterbirth lol to whoever asked what's worse sh@t or afterbirth I never took a look at afterbirth but I hear it's very scary looking
topgearmtl 0
**** your life? I love taking phat dumps!