Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought home some expensive ice cream and we licked it off of each other. It was fun until we learned that dried ice cream on skin smells almost exactly like puke. FML
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML
Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BrookeTrueblood 0
Why the hell would you do that with a 9 year old in the house?
MzRabbit 0
ever heard of locked doors?? or u like traumatizing your younger sister at such a young age!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (181)
omgshaylaaa 0
ewh your poor sister is going to be seeing you two horndogs in her nightmares!
medjai 0
How big is your boyfriend if he can consume that much whipped cream? No wonder your sister started crying...
automatedeffemel 0
Right!? Its gross that your boyfriend can eat a human girl size amount of whipped cream.
MF12 0
maybe it was a very thin layer... :P
skrillexFTW47 5
It was probably a thin layer and honestly, I've done the same thing with my boyfriend and he's not fat at all. Most men can consume a LOT of food, especially if they're a growing teenager :p Plus it's just fluff!
kikiss_j 0
lol
theeBeezWaXx 0
aww she was traumatized "/, but gosh she ruined thee sexy timee.
onnielief 4
Why was she crying? Don't tell me that she at age 9 she has already been brainwashed into believing that a humans body is revolting and sex is bad?
Squander 3
It doesn't matter what kind of learning you've got, before age 12 sex is disgusting. If a young child DOESN'T find sex gross, then everyone will think they're something wrong with them.
thoughtcrimeno1 0
not aldous huxley
movies12 0
I would say you should lock your doors, but I just remebered not everyone has locks on their doors... including me.... which sucks... FYL
iloveloosy12 0
that's a Lot of whipped cream lol
Starcatch77 20
Yes it is...
MadeOfAwesome 1
An lesson we can all learn from FML that has been told time and again: "Thou shalt not engage in sexual activities with children/parents in the house."
Mahyar 2
u would have whipcream in ur ass crack ewww......
cgysoccerfreak 0
why aren't you in the ****** kitchen *****
krazykiya12095 0
@ #26 hahaa jeez she (or he?? hahaa) is not a *****
cindayy77 0
and I really hate guys like u #26...