Today, I fell asleep in the doctor's waiting room. When I woke up, the room was empty, and there was a $1 bill tucked into my cleavage. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I wrecked my car and got rushed to the emergency room. While strapped to a gurney, a nurse reached in my back pocket, grabbed my wallet and pulled the velcro keeping my wallet shut. The entire room immediately started laughing as condoms and loose change went flying everywhere. FML
Today, I had to go to the hospital. While I was there, my mom started hitting on a doctor. Later I saw them making out in the room next to me. FML
Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML
Today, while getting a hernia exam, I accidentally ran my fingers through my doctor's hair. FML
Today, I was half asleep and tried to cuddle my husband as we slept. Still dreaming, he yelled for me to leave his money alone. FML
Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML
Today, I woke up with severe back pain and about $100 missing from my paycheck. FML
Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML
Today, I went to the doctor for a routine check-up. When the nurse took my blood pressure, I passed out, and fell off the table. FML
Today, I woke up hungover and with $13 stuffed in my bra. I'm not a stripper, and I'm not sure how it got there, but that's the most money I've had on me in weeks. FML
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Top comments
PancakeSlap 23
I wish I could make money while I sleep.
DARKDAY07 16
They atleast couldve left a 5
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Comments (52)
drunkmunkey 24
were you there to talk about the side effects of ambien and what it makes you do in your sleep?
baseballbv 17
But without her being asleep, the Boob Fairy wouldn't have visited and given her a dollar.
drunkmunkey 24
well now the guy knows there's a boob fairy he's going to want his dollar back
incoherentrmblr 22
"Keep the change ya filthy animal..."
sky413 26
Should've taken a nap earlier!
HersheySquirts 17
If she took a nap earlier in the day, She would have one less dollar. Everything helps.
DARKDAY07 16
They atleast couldve left a 5
DogeMan 14
The boobs fairy must have rated hers badly so she got $1
swaggalikethat 22
Oh well, gotta make the breast of it
PancakeSlap 23
I wish I could make money while I sleep.
Almost_Positive 18
You should try OP's strategy
Mystery_Unsolved 16
If we could make money while we slept there would be a lot less cranky people in the world.
vividpictures 17
Grow a pair of boobs and then we'll talk.
leopardwilliam 22
Only a dollar for the goods?
barakados 11
That's bullsht. No human is worth a dollar.
OhWhoCares 42
But breasts are!
BadApple88 29
Well at least someone thinks you have a nice rack
deedeedeniel 17
Oh my gosh imagine the things that have been done :0
Pleonasm 36
That's hilarious to me because buck is Northern Irish/British slang for ****. So it reads as a pun like "at least you made (for) an easy lay/ride"
SweetasCandy0609 28
I'll give you a dollar to make you Holler.
gottahandittome 2
"mama's got her boobs out, showin' ever'body in town"