Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought home some expensive ice cream and we licked it off of each other. It was fun until we learned that dried ice cream on skin smells almost exactly like puke. FML
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML
Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
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Top comments
BrookeTrueblood 0
Why the hell would you do that with a 9 year old in the house?
MzRabbit 0
ever heard of locked doors?? or u like traumatizing your younger sister at such a young age!
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Comments (181)
aardvarkish 17
Poor kid.
jonny2x4 0
He just creamed her on the outside. What would lil' sis think when she finds out he filled here with cream too?
topbanana 0
hahahahhaha wow
Chronica420 0
LMFAO THATS AWESOME #50
samimcCune 15
except unfortunately this time it seems he didn't have the time to fill her with his sweet(or salty:)) cream, this time at least. poor kid, hope that sight doesn't expose her to making other choices similar to what she walked in on prematurely, and let's also hope that's the only premature thing in the room. it takes some time to lick whipped cream off an entire human body, so if he's got the patience to do that, hopefully he has the staying power to do other traumatizing delicious things:):):) have your cake and eat it too!
tugknife 0
your boyfriend is a joke if he would rather eat whipped cream then nail you. he just found a way to trick you into letting him eat instead of having sex. what a slob. and YDI, it's called a lock
samimcCune 15
it's not all about just being "nailed." don't get me wrong i enjoy being nailed but there is so much more too it than that. and if you think there isn't and it's all about being ******, then you're sadly mistaken and missing out on so much enjoyable kink! her boyfriend is not "a joke" for licking whipped cream off of her, he realizes it's about more than just..., penis into ******, in out in out in out. which is all you seem to believe it is, which also makes me think you are not only way to young to be putting your probably tiny penis into any ******, as well as being naive as hell!
aiden2976 0
after that you shouldve said "oh what a lovely tea party"
Rickyretardo 0
soo many ppl are stupid in not locking thier doors or if they don't have a lock buy one or if their too pour baricade the door
FuBarr 0
Probably was just looking for whipped cream for her ice cream. You should have left her some you inconsiderant cretin.
Erindub 0
I've kind of got to wonder where are peoples parents these days and why are they allowing boys alone in their daughters room alone with the door closed? When I was a teenager this wasn't even an option.
ydi_ruuc 0
"Hey mom, Im gonna go take my girlfriend into my bedroom and show her my secret stash of whipped cream."
apfunction 0
I'm sure in "your day", gas was fifty cents a gallon, and you got a license to drive your horse and carriage around. things change, get over it.
bballchick12994 0
lmao
mrguy266 0
24 hahaha
sorcerersinger 0
why did she cry? did she wanna join or something?
Monikabug 9
Yes 47, because every 9 year old child wants to have incestual sex with their older brother and his whipped cream covered girlfriend! Shut up. ._.
samimcCune 15
#47 - why would you even make such of a damn fool of yourself by posting a comment like that? although if you're stupid enough to post that in the first place i don't even know why i'm bothering to ask because the answer is pretty obvious.
samimcCune 15
(to #47) why would you even make such of a damn fool of yourself by posting a comment like that? although if you're stupid enough to post that in the first place i don't even know why i'm bothering to ask because the answer is pretty obvious.
joints99 0
She'll get over it!