Today, while making New Year's resolutions, I realized that I haven't hung out with anybody other than my family in over two years and I started crying. When my mom came in and I explained why I was crying, she replied, "Well that sucks. I'm off to have lunch with some friends. See you later!" FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my sister-in-law asked why I wasn't out partying with my friends to celebrate the new year. My mom then asked "What friends?". Ah, the new year begins. FML
Today, I was feeling very sad and alone, so I went to see my mom. I was there for over two hours, but she was on the phone gossiping with her church hens for about an hour and 45 minutes. Then she wonders why I hardly ever visit. FML
Today, I was finally alone for the first time in a year. I thought I'd go to a restaurant, but ended up getting there before they opened. While waiting, I listened to music, only to end up crying for several minutes because I haven't had a girlfriend since 2010, and never will again. FML
Today, I asked my husband to spend New Year's with me watching a movie or maybe spending some time together. He said, "I can't upset my family by coming to celebrate New Year's with you." For context, we live separately because my Dad passed away and I can't leave my mum alone. FML
Today, I got invited out by friends for coffee after I broke up with my boyfriend. When I told my mom where I was going, she looked at me and said, "But you don't have friends. All your friends are pixels. Where are you really going?" FML
Today, I was at a goodbye dinner with friends before I move back to America. A friend called to cry over relationship problems she refuses to fix. While I was outside trying to politely get off the phone, my friends ate and drank everything I'd ordered and closed the bill. FML
Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML
Today, I noticed that my weekend hobby is crying. I live in a city where I don't have a single friend or relative. FML
Today, after a huge heartbreak and a night of crying, I wake up to an empty house. I go in the kitchen to make breakfast and see a note on the counter saying "We heard you crying last night and didn't want to hear you complaining this morning, so we went to the mall. - Mom" FML
Today, it's again one of many times my mom dropped me off at the mall to hang out with friends. Since I have no friends, I shop by myself and always tell her I had "so much fun". FML
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Top comments
Doortje 30
If you don't like not having a life, start making one. It's not like people get one on Christmas day or something, you have to actually do something for it.
The_Dude_Abides_ 0
go bowling dude it's a great place to make friends man!!
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Comments (69)
BlahLand 0
then start goin out more with friends ? ahaha mom's a WIN lol
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
I think you need a big cup of HTFU
iSitt 0
Your fml contains the key to your cure.
fml2943288398298 0
Maybe instead of crying go hang out with your friends..
hater118 0
ikr lol
The_Dude_Abides_ 0
go bowling dude it's a great place to make friends man!!
rottentomatoes 7
your mom obviously has a better social life than you do. Go have some fun with your friends, or get some friends!
tribridags 0
I love juicy bawls in mah mouf
gozar_fml 1
You love juicy bowels?
Doortje 30
If you don't like not having a life, start making one. It's not like people get one on Christmas day or something, you have to actually do something for it.
Idonebeenhad 17
BEST CUPCAKE EVER
MzKylz 0
epic win on your mothers half lol
DocBastard 40
I assume that your resolutions are as follows: 1) Stop being a ******* pussy 2) Make at least one friend 3) Get out of the house 4) Stop being a ******* PUSSY
Vehicle 1
Just don't accept their candy!!!!!!!!
Sanostol2 0
yeah, that guy who's driving the free candy van isnt your friend!
tmmundy 17
lmao....those vans are everywhere!!! you would think the police would catch on to their scam and shut them down.
Ran3 0
don't listen to them! the guys in the van have the BEST candy!
talb1 7
Ran, knows what he is talking about.
macskapingvin 0
First rule of making friends: talk to strangers.
Doortje 30
Nooo, you shouldn't talk to strangers, that's dangerous! Geez, didn't your parents teach you ANYTHING?!
Doortje 30
*you. Ugh.
rbell2915 0
*facepalm* How else do you expect to make friends? Last time I checked you couldn't buy them...
macskapingvin 0
Of course you can - the slave trade is still alive and well!
Battledog5006 0
get some friends you fat pussy, try chatroulette
maybaybe 0
No, not chatroulette. That will scar her for life.
Shaggy_92 5
kick ass shirt bro!
MnBran6 0
Your shirt should say "no chicks at all", we all know you gobble balls ya douchy taco.
MadPercussion 0
Yeah you could do that, if you want penises for friends...