Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML
Today, at my girlfriend's place, I cleaned up her room, put candles everywhere, scented the air, and placed rose petals all over her bed in an attempt to be romantic and loving. The first thing she said when she saw all this was, "Uhhhhgg, I'll have to clean all this up." FML
Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. There was a beautifully decorated table with rose petals and a huge bouquet and he told me he had ordered all this for me. I'd never felt so special. That is, until I had to get up for the couple whose table it actually was. FML
Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML
Today, instead of going to a romantic dinner with my boyfriend like I'd planned, I ended up babysitting his queasy little sister. FML
Today, I sent the kids to my parents' house, tidied the house, and made reservations for a fancy restaurant, hoping to surprise my wife. When she got home and I handed her flowers, she sighed and said, "Can you stop with the stupid romance shit? It's embarrassing. We're six years married, not two moonstruck kids." FML
Today, I wrote my boyfriend a poem, and left it on the bed with a rose for him to see after work. When I came home later, I noticed the flower in the trash, and the poem had been used as gum wrapper. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
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Top comments
LOLYLIF 0
Aww.... Thats so cute, if not oddly disgusting.
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Better safe than sorry, I always say.
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Comments (60)
LOLYLIF 0
Aww.... Thats so cute, if not oddly disgusting.
YANKSFAN4EVER 0
Lol
soccerpringles 0
Cockblock xD
Efeks 0
Cockblocked by a 5 year old :D
amandajlucas2015 2
Atleast ur bf tries to be romantic mine sucks at that kinda stuff.. It's just sex w him n it gets old really fast
Brave_Sir_Robin 4
Better safe than sorry, I always say.
FreddyLunch 0
Haha, why does nobody appreciate these funny little encounters? This is not an FML.
whatevaaaa 0
not always...one time i saw a kid sucking on a condom, you find that funny? Its a bit funny, but more nasty imo..
Penetration 0
What if the condom broke? Erm- I mean.... Look, she's blowing up condom balloons! Maybe she was trying to help them out by inflating them? Probably didn't know that's not how they work.
happy_bubbles 0
Hahahahah I'm sorry but it's really funny, poor little girl with the condom balloons hahah lol
blastvortex 4
Hahahahahahahahaha.... xD
kukopia 0
As Mythbusters would say; highly implausible. What 5 yr old has the lungs to blow up balloons?
Maxine17 8
I don't like romantic very much either. Just some good old shaggin' :)
greenltrn2003 0
^win
StealthStorm67 0
@11: What would be better? A bottle of Jack & Coke? At least the guy has some class, and didnt just tell her to come over for some casual sex.
Moemoemoe_fml 0
#11: Yeah, I think you're the only one. The rest of us do enjoy a few nice things in this world of brutes... D:
KZN02 18
This is awfully familar ... http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/6005741
nazooer 11
Why, because it mentions rose petals? It's not at all the same.
youthink_fml 0
So he still lives with his parents? And you expected a romantic evening at his parents?
youreanidiot 0
I think they're two young "lovers" in high school who aren't mature enough to be having sex anyway... ydi, in two weeks it'll be we broke up FML
jg600 0
Exactly what I was thinking. How romantic to have sex with his parents and little sister listening.
Veritas143 0
I blame the liberal media!
soccerpringles 0
#10: Uhm I don't think anyone has a right to say something like that..... Its not your decision or your consequences, so what would it matter to you that teenagers are living in the moment? You don't even know her situation. Me and my boyfriend have been together all through out high school had sex and everything and never once broke up once. p.s. If you have a child its natural to be worried for them... But leave the rest of the world alone. God Damn.
sarcasticbitch 7
How come most of the shit FMLs happen in Texas?
toink 0
anyone from Texas?
perdix 31
Yep. Houston. Texas is the second most populous of the United States, and while we do have smart people here, it seems that we have more than our fair share of stupid ones. Bless their hearts. I think another factor that skews the stats to make Texas overrepresented in FML's is that Texans tend to be more open than most other Americans and they might be more willing to share their stupid-ass ****-ups rather than try to hide them. It's a fun place to live.
teddirae 9
Because Texas is the shit!!!
fkingstooge 0
Nar it's generally retarded people in America :)
perdix 31
Poor kid. The lube usually tastes terrible. Blown- up condoms make even a well- endowed man feel small.