Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought home some expensive ice cream and we licked it off of each other. It was fun until we learned that dried ice cream on skin smells almost exactly like puke. FML
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML
Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
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Top comments
BrookeTrueblood 0
Why the hell would you do that with a 9 year old in the house?
MzRabbit 0
ever heard of locked doors?? or u like traumatizing your younger sister at such a young age!
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Comments (181)
mrzero 0
you guy's are an ass. lock the door to ****.
MrFlintstone 5
are you so obbsessed with sex that you can't pick a place or time without children
MrFlintstone 5
plus there is probably an fml " I just saw my brother and his girlfriend licking each other in his bedroom"
erjaguam 0
locks. use them.
ixi_cloud_ixi 0
lol hate little sibs
mematteden 2
maybe she was crying because all the whip cream is gone
CheezBoi 0
I chime in with a "haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door, no" .
brunnette_babe 0
how old r u? and y was she crying
Brontesky91 0
Ohk,so she was cryin bcuz that cream was for her hot chocolate and her bother wasted it instead of getting to the point! lmao who locks the door anymore lol (really nxt time lock the door or do it some place else).
dorktastic09 0
I agree with one. why the hell wouldn't you lock the door when there are other people in the house?