Today, I agreed to let my boyfriend cover every inch of my body in whipped cream and lick it off. We were both enjoying it until his 9 year old sister walked in and started crying. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of lacking intimacy in our relationship, my girlfriend decided to spice things up by covering her naked body with whipped cream. Except, we didn't have any in the fridge, so instead I had to politely lick shaving cream off of her while fighting the urge to vomit. FML
Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML
Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full of calories." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex for the first time when my 4 year old sister walked in. She thought we were making a dog pile, so just as soon as my boyfriend was about to finish, she jumped on his back. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought home some expensive ice cream and we licked it off of each other. It was fun until we learned that dried ice cream on skin smells almost exactly like puke. FML
Today, my boyfriend refused to go down on me because I smelled of baby lotion and it made him feel like a child molester. FML
Today, my fiancé and I decided to engage in some erotic food play. She covered every region of my body, including my genitals, with strawberry sauce. Today also happens to be the day that I found out I'm allergic to strawberries. FML
Today, I arrived home after a hard day's work to see my 12-year-old sister had greased up my 8-year-old brother with butter and olive oil, and was attempting to slide him down the wooden floorboards in the hallway. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BrookeTrueblood 0
Why the hell would you do that with a 9 year old in the house?
MzRabbit 0
ever heard of locked doors?? or u like traumatizing your younger sister at such a young age!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (181)
Sargon_of_Akkad 0
What?!? Licking whipped cream off your body? You know that's how people develop a taste for human flesh right? Sure it's all innocent now, but in a month or two you'll find your liver on a plate next to some fava beans and a nice chianti!!!
88sforlife 0
Agreed
brieebeear 0
well the girl is growing up and you should talk to her about it because she will probably feel more comfortable with you talking about sex and growing up as a girl . trust me . I've walked into my dad and mom doing like . really disgusting stuff and I thought I was scared for life . seeing my moms ****** and boobs and seeing my dads penis . but my big bros girlfriend talked to me about it and I feel way better
jdude8897 4
A 9-yr old in the house....EPIC FAIL calm ur penis til ur alone, impatient young padawan!
sbx 0
you should've shared the cream with her to stop her crying lol
LPEasierToRn 3
why does no one lock their door?
stevenmx86 8
Ever heard of moving out of mommy and daddy's houses? Wait until you grow up to do grown up things...
Sunny_Eclipse 6
Happens all the time. The little sibling just has to walk in at the best part... I feel your pain.
jjluv456 11
LOCK THE DOOR
brittanie711 3
I would have liked until she walked in then I would have screamed at her later for it