Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake. My husband's first reaction was to ask if the cake had gotten bloody or not. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML
Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML
Today, I rented a holiday cottage, assuring the owner I was a very tidy person. Then I sliced my finger while cooking and got blood on the kitchen towels and the cream rug, then the wound opened up again during my shower, I didn’t notice and now there’s blood on the white bathroom towels. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MikeDa1Da 14
Doesn't matter, had cake.
SkoomaKi 28
It was an honest question. Either a cake that has taken a while to make, ruined, or a little cut... You'll live OP, unless you have an artery in your finger.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (113)
Feartheunknown 4
He sounds like the kind of guy who would eat the cake even if your blood had gotten on it.
Beckleyy 15
Well... did it?
The_Hitdude 12
40: I'm really resisting the urge to cyber bitch-slap you right now. So before I go, I'm going to say this: Read her ******* profile. And it's called a Hijab. Have a nice day.
feranmi101 0
She is a Muslim dumbass
SkoomaKi 28
40 - The_Hitdude and I will double team your ass. Are assholes such as yourself allowed on FML?
mercsl65 7
hes probably fed up with dealing with a bitchy overreactive wife by now. and he knows whatever he said would have probably ended up on fml.
Birdie_Sage 0
That's looking at it differently... But maybe she hadn't cooked anything good for awhile and he just wanted to know if the amazing food was ok.
kimmi41509 10
You sound like a dumbass.
goodgurlgonebad 0
its funny he may right at this moment be posting on fml my overreacting wife ruined a perfectly good piece of sponge cake an looked at me for help i was so emotinal fml
highonlife10 0
Wouldn't want to ruin a perfectly good sponge cake
shocka_fml 4
Sounds like he's got his priorities in order
alfred07 18
Maybe he knew she was alright. One time my fiancée said she had an accident or something, my first instinct was to ask her if she was ok buy I didn't because I figured that she must be. She was but she didn't appreciate my reasoning.