Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake. My husband's first reaction was to ask if the cake had gotten bloody or not. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML
Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML
Today, I rented a holiday cottage, assuring the owner I was a very tidy person. Then I sliced my finger while cooking and got blood on the kitchen towels and the cream rug, then the wound opened up again during my shower, I didn’t notice and now there’s blood on the white bathroom towels. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML
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Top comments
MikeDa1Da 14
Doesn't matter, had cake.
SkoomaKi 28
It was an honest question. Either a cake that has taken a while to make, ruined, or a little cut... You'll live OP, unless you have an artery in your finger.
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Comments (113)
trollfaced 2
Who can resist eating cake? I don't think anybody can
Jakesterk96 8
1-Yea, because not being able to resist to eat the cake is the clear problem here.
kroekdog 7
hence, obesity.
lavitaebella_fml 0
"Oh no! Is the cake OK?"
yummayy_ 11
Well no one wants bloody cake!
blaackandprouud 20
Well I was hoping that your wife cutting herself would be more important.. Guess not.
Insane_Tea 15
When there's cake involved everything else is a liability.
The_Hitdude 12
34: Re-read the FML. The OP is the wife, not the husband.
molliepop19 5
42: re-read 34's comment.
blaackandprouud 20
42- Re-Read the FML dude, the wife was cutting the cake..
nado13579 12
So the fact that OP was bleeding wasn't the issue, it was that blood might get on the cake.
ShyAnn29 15
42 & 90, 34 got it right, I think you just misunderstood it
PeachesnCream88 0
Omfg thats something I WOULD DOOO! Or at least think* before immediately helping the person :D
kittykat1501 31
34 was essentially talking about the husband, not OP
SkoomaKi 28
It was an honest question. Either a cake that has taken a while to make, ruined, or a little cut... You'll live OP, unless you have an artery in your finger.
comedybreak 20
Exactly. What the hell did you want him to do? Kiss it?
missalkali 8
how does asking if she's ok sound as a first reaction. maybe getting her a bandaid or something for the bleeding....
Mifflicious 18
She got a cut in a finger, not cutting her arm off for god's sake. If I cut myself, MY first reaction is if I ruined whatever I was doing. People are too whiny..
lookingforlovee 0
He wanted some cake! You can't blame him you never know what the need for cake will do to someone!
Dojan 16
Except, it doesn't even take an hour to make a sponge cake, besides, if the cut was serious enough to ruin an entire cake, OP probably wasn't OK. You could just remove the tiny bit of cake with blood on it.
buck33 14
72 - You clearly don't take cake seriously.
Googoo27 12
That cake is a lie.
dinoluvsrawr 2
It has squaids
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
43 Its a cake, not a blue waffle.
jazzypunkrock21 0
Yes this is amazing! I also love your thumb nail profile pic thingy :D avenged sevenfold ftw!
DontModMeDammit 10
4, it's ok just make a portal to the hospital to save the wife.
MikeDa1Da 14
Doesn't matter, had cake.
bobchickenfart 5
unless she actually did get blood on it.
Wow_FYL_BIZNITCH 7
Still counts. :)
gabrielle01 0
Best comment ever :)
siddster15 0
haha i see what you did there
kroekdog 7
Cake is good. Bloody or not
laughytaffy 5
I must be a horrible person, because that was my first question also. Whoops!
NoOneLovesYou 13
It's not such a horrible thing that you should need to complain about it. Most likely, he realizes a cut will probably not kill you - would you rather he say "stick a band-aid and some disinfectant on it, you'll be okay"? I would've done just that, but you'd probably freak out about that, too. His attempt at a joke was his way to make you feel better, sorry you missed that.
hornetsbaseball 6
He seems like the type who cares about his food more than his wife..
The_Hitdude 12
Really? I would've never guessed as much from the FML.
Awsumuzzie 12
Don't most men? "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach."
SkoomaKi 28
21 - "The way to a man's heart is in his pants" - True story
d3sigN8t3dDruNk 1
Haha thats not how u get to my heart! ;) jus sayn' l
UnicornInSpace 6
That sounds delicious.
Furrywhiplash 14
Husband: Did you get blood on the cake?! Wife: *covers blood spot on came with whip cream and strawberries* ... Noooo.........
Furrywhiplash 14
Cake* **** you auto-correct! How dare you mess up the word "cake!"
crypticundead 4
Good thing you corrected yourself. Having the words 'came' and 'whip cream' in the same sentence of an FML about cake and bloody fingers would be rather confusing.
abceasyas123abc 12
Husband: "Mmm, sweet AND salty..?"
therealslim 15
75- blood is salty..?