Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, I was helping my friend wash dishes. As I went to grab some tongs to dry them, I impaled my forearm on a knife that was sticking blade up. My friend wanted to finish the dishes before taking me to the hospital. FML
Today, visiting my partner’s family for the first time, I offered to help cook, saying I could chop the vegetables. Five minutes later, I nicked my finger, dropped the knife, and instinctively said a very loud curse word in front of their very traditional grandparents. Everyone froze while someone went to get me a bandage. FML
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML
Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML
Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML
Today, while working at a fine-dining restaurant, I was dicing veggies. I was paying such close attention to make sure the veggies were all the same size, that I managed to cut off the tip of my thumb. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML
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Top comments
Vesi 30
ER stat and that is grounds for divorce IF he was serious. If he was joking, wife him again!
powerspin_fml 11
Well, that does sound like something I'd say, jokingly, as I begin to do them. Remember, gentlemen, say it AS YOU DO THEM to not leave any confusion and not have a dirty plate flung at your head!
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Comments (9)
Vesi 30
ER stat and that is grounds for divorce IF he was serious. If he was joking, wife him again!
D J's MOM 17
I would have that sob doing them for a week at least.
Yudith 28
"Darling, could you please do the dishes? I can't wet my bandage for the next seven days."
Justkidding100 41
if you call yourself a 'tradwife' you literally deserve it. didn't anyone tell you the "traditional" stands for "misogyny"?
jungle butt 1
you sound miserable
powerspin_fml 11
Well, that does sound like something I'd say, jokingly, as I begin to do them. Remember, gentlemen, say it AS YOU DO THEM to not leave any confusion and not have a dirty plate flung at your head!
Hangryko 32
He can cook his own food and wash his own dishes from now on.
FluffythePink 23
Congratulations! You married an arsehole. Your choices are either suffer it, go postal on him until he both fears and respects you for the rest of your marriage or trade him in for an actually decent guy. Take Powerspin_fmls comment as your inspiration for how a good other half reacts in such a situation.
Rake 18
How accurately did that plate hit his head?
lexxiasaurus 31
sounds like someone's going to be getting smaller portions of food and possibly some nails or an eyelash for the next few weeks in their food. awe it's seasoned with love ❤️