Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake. My husband's first reaction was to ask if the cake had gotten bloody or not. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML
Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML
Today, I rented a holiday cottage, assuring the owner I was a very tidy person. Then I sliced my finger while cooking and got blood on the kitchen towels and the cream rug, then the wound opened up again during my shower, I didn’t notice and now there’s blood on the white bathroom towels. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML
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Top comments
MikeDa1Da 14
Doesn't matter, had cake.
SkoomaKi 28
It was an honest question. Either a cake that has taken a while to make, ruined, or a little cut... You'll live OP, unless you have an artery in your finger.
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Comments (113)
sailoroftheseas 7
I always like my sponge cake with a hint of blood.
ohmybejeezus 6
I didn't know dogs could type
sailoroftheseas 7
that's how I roll
8WeAreYoung8 4
Aw poor cake! :( No, I'm just kidding, I hope you feel better! :)
The_Hitdude 12
OP: "Hey honey! How much cake do you want? I'm cutting myself so--" *Slices finger open* *Cries out in pain* Husband: "Holy shit!" OP: "It's okay, it isn't that big." Husband: "No you idiot! It's all over the cake! We just wasted 5 hours to make a cake JUST for you to get your blood all over it!?" OP: "But I made the ca--" Husband: "That's not the point! Go make another one dammit!"
Awsumuzzie 12
Hm? An incomplete fml? Was there blood in the cake!? Thanks for leaving us in suspense!
maryjane1 3
Well? Had it?
ohSNAPyall 27
OP cleaned it up with the sponge.
DarkHelmet 10
Sponge cake is quite delicious but I'm sure he was very concerned about you as well...once he found the sponge cake was unsoiled
twisted_cherub 14
Unless I severed my finger clean off, I would be more concerned about ruining the cake than cutting my own finger; especially if I'd spent the time to make the cake myself. The man has his priorities straight.
perdix 31
Was he angling for an extra-bloody slice?
tutti77 3
Mmm. Bloody cake, my favorite kind!! Your fault! Next time aim the blood away from the cake
comedybreak 20
Are nuns allowed on FML?