Today, I accidentally cut myself while slicing some sponge cake. My husband's first reaction was to ask if the cake had gotten bloody or not. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cut myself pretty badly with a knife. I was bleeding quite a lot, so I yelled to my husband to bring me some kitchen roll, along with the first aid kit. He rushed in with the roll… to clean the floor. FML
Today, I was chopping veggies for dinner and accidentally sliced through my thumbnail and into my finger. I wrapped it and finished cooking, despite being in considerable pain. My husband patted my shoulder and said sympathetically, "Don’t worry about the dishes babe. You can just do them tomorrow.” FML
Today, I cut my finger at work while chopping some vegetables. I grabbed the nearest rag I could to stop the bleeding and put it on the cut. I didn't know the rag had just been used to clean up a lemon juice spill. FML
Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML
Today, I cut my hand on nothing while at work. It bled so much, I began to feel woozy, and everyone kept brushing me off when I asked where the first aid kits were. FML
Today, I rented a holiday cottage, assuring the owner I was a very tidy person. Then I sliced my finger while cooking and got blood on the kitchen towels and the cream rug, then the wound opened up again during my shower, I didn’t notice and now there’s blood on the white bathroom towels. FML
Today, I tried to surprise my girlfriend by cooking dinner. As I was chopping onions, I cut my finger and started bleeding everywhere. She walked in, saw the blood on the onions, and almost passed out. FML
Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML
Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML
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Top comments
MikeDa1Da 14
Doesn't matter, had cake.
SkoomaKi 28
It was an honest question. Either a cake that has taken a while to make, ruined, or a little cut... You'll live OP, unless you have an artery in your finger.
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Comments (113)
trollierthanthou 1
woah... Well OP, did you or not? Forget the loss of your finger, is the damn cake okay? No one likes a bloody cake.
trollierthanthou 1
after he said that i would have rubbed my finger on the cake. I mean it is a sponge cake, hence, soaking up blood.
soccersgr8 6
Well did it?
NiCeGuY115 14
Cake is cake...but give him the bloody half, let him be the one to test whether it's good or not.
hateevryone 15
He must love food
HeartOfLead 24
If no one insists on saying it, I will! Young lady, it is cruel to make some one such as or especially Sir Sponge SqaurePants into a cake... But cutting him up... Really? Oh the agony!
WeAreAHurricane 14
Being "mean" in your dialogue is the least of your comments worries....
cindyrocks 4
Hey noorFML I liked ur profile nd what you wrote add me:-) Idk how FML works
birdcagereligion 10
Well, bloody cake does not sound appetizing. FYL though, I hope you're alright.
Heinousness 0
What are you saying?