Today, a woman was staring at me. This went on for about five minutes until I couldn't take it anymore. I screamed at her to cut it out. It turns out she had a lazy eye. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the mall. While shopping in a store, a woman bumped into me numerous times. Getting annoyed, I turned to her and loudly exclaimed, "Are you blind?!" Turns out she was. FML
Today, I was working at a portrait studio and was taking pictures of a little girl, I kept telling the girl to stop making silly faces when she smiles because her eyes go cross-eyed. After the third time I said it her mom grabbed the little girl and left. Turns out, she was naturally cross-eyed. FML
Today, I looked over at the car parked next to me and noticed a very large woman plucking her mustache. She locked eyes with me and kept plucking. After that, every time I looked over, she was still staring. Staring and plucking. Now when I close my eyes, I can still see her. FML
Today, a woman threatened to stab my eyes out because I wouldn't let her into the shop I closed and locked up half an hour ago. FML
Today, I was on the train and a woman approached me from behind and told me that if I didn’t stop staring at her, she’d kill me slowly and painfully, then she pulled out a switchblade to support her argument. I wasn’t looking at her at all and was in fact looking in the opposite direction. FML
Today, while I was out shopping, a fairly hideous-looking woman stormed up to me and accused me of ogling her, saying, "As if I'd ever date you!" Less than a minute later, she'd somehow managed to bully me into falsely admitting to it and apologizing. FML
Today, as I was sitting on a bench thinking about an upcoming test, some hysterical woman slapped me out of nowhere because she thought I was staring at her ass. I was staring blankly into the void. FML
Today, an attractive woman looked in my direction and smiled. My wife saw this and stomped on my foot, and I screamed like a little girl from the pain. People turned and stared. FML
Today, and ever since I was born, I've had a lazy eye. This morning my boyfriend broke up with me. He thought it was funny to state that we just weren't looking at life in the same way. FML
Today, I was in the cafeteria when I noticed a new worker cleaning a table. As I passed her, she looked up and smiled at me. Thinking she was pulling a funny face, I jokingly crossed my eyes and smiled back. She looked hurt and continued working. Later, she served me my lunch. She was actually cross-eyed. FML
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Top comments
Sebastian_NG 17
... #3 gets thumbed down
elpopsw 0
Did the ground swallow you and your paranoia up?
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Comments (81)
elpopsw 0
Did the ground swallow you and your paranoia up?
blaackandprouud 20
I don't really think he was paranoid, since she was technically staring at her, I think OP was just becoming agitated because she was staring at her.
esines 9
OP must be a hermaphrodite then cause you just went from he to her
ryry013 6
You really didn't have to scream at her. You could have asked nicely.
Fml_FTW228 10
38- A hermaphrodite does not mean that they are both male and female. It just means that they have both male and female genitalia.
esines 9
Uhh correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure your genitalia determine whether your male or female...
Fml_FTW228 10
^^ Yes, but not in the case of a hermaphrodite is it just which genitalia they have because only one of them will work. Meaning whichever form, male or female, of genitalia they have is what determines their actual sex.
_Oblivion_ 12
Technically she was staring at you, but not intentionally.
melikesfml 11
Sounds like someone is a little too knowledgeable on the subject *cough 63*. Freakin weird people and their weird ass fetishes.
Jaxx66 21
91- having knowledge about a subject doesn't make it a 'fetish'... Or that'd be sick in a coroners case! But on the topic of fetishes.... Futa rocks. :)
esines 9
Well to me, if a woman has a penis, even if it doesn't work, I will consider them a man. I don't know how we got on the subject of the gender of hermaphrodites though so I'm gonna drop it now. ****** boob penis wieners
blaackandprouud 20
38- hahah yeah, I don't know why I did that..
OffToTheGayBar 9
95 - I'm thumbing you up for having the balls to say what I didn't. Not gonna lie, I got a good chuckle out of it.
greatdanen 6
the CIA is trying to kill you?
sincerelyjay 13
Futa?
Mommyof2_91 10
Well #63 actually there's 3 known people in the world where BOTH parts actually fully functioning. They had one on Dr.Drew's life changers..
XtraEzeee 8
If I had both a penis and a ****** I would take masturbating to a whole new lev.. Um.. I.. I mean... Hermaphrodite? Gross..
hellbilly205 17
Well how would you know if she was staring at you? I'll tell you and save you the trouble because you obviously must of been staring right back at her
tennis06 7
paranoid much?
SkoomaKi 28
Wouldn't you be paranoid? Someone staring at you for 5 whole minutes? I would be creeped out...
tellithowitis 13
Stop being so nosy op...
bedhead08 1
I don't blame you OP. but you could have handled it better, rather than screaming at the lady.
lavitaebella_fml 0
35: I think you're going to have to look up to the definition of nosy, because what OP did definitely isn't what nosy means...
saksxalmo 20
It's not paranoia if you're really being watched.
blackheart24 10
I woulda just started making funny faces.
brokenheart10 0
I would have moved left and right to see if her lazy eye followed me.
tellithowitis 13
51, I was being sarcastic due to the fact that my picture is a nose... Geez everyone takes everything sooo seriously.
Kypopz 9
That awkward moment when...
Sebastian_NG 17
... #3 gets thumbed down
bevsta 7
Your mouth is full of metal.
The_Hitdude 12
66: I didn't know it was fact time! Well here's another fact: You're a douchebag. Telling her she has metal in her mouth is like telling a midget he's short. Pointing out the obvious. So next time, keep it to yourself.
isssssssy 0
Number 69.
The_Hitdude 12
Oooh 71, aren't we mature!?!
alexroa50 0
You got a battlefield 3 picture :l
DocBastard 40
Bevsta - Do you feel like a badass making fun of a 14-year old girl's braces? Makes you feel big and bad, does it? Asshole.
esines 9
Personally I think braces look hot on some girls.
The_Hitdude 12
Doc- How come I said the same thing you did, but I get thumbed down and you get thumbed up? Is it because you're DocBastard, or are people on FML THAT fickle?
gibbyguppy 0
#66 would you like to **** off?
DocBastard 40
Hitdude - I have no idea. Maybe they liked my phrasing more? Maybe they agree with my assessment that he's an asshole, rather than yours that he's a douchebag?
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
What I don't get is; while #3 has braces to make her teeth straight and perfect, bevsta's mouth probably contains rotten apple cores he calls teeth
oppawoppa 9
I can't believe this many fights came out of one comment. •_•
KiddNYC1O 22
Welcome to FML. ^
Kypopz 9
Ouch. Okay yeah, my comment completely failed. Oh well, at least I didn't make an arrow in the knee joke.
DiscoRanger 0
Don't even call that shit a "joke".
j_cat187 20
#66 And your ass is full of shit.
bacon1043 3
Who ate all the pecan sandies?
Kypopz 9
Hahaha. I went ahead and thumbed my own comment down.
koolkat27 13
Kypopz just stop. It's getting embarassing.
harowharow 3
Funny momment I have braces to it don't bother me but she deserved it x
harrypotter955 19
YDI and you didn't because u weren't supposed to know she had a lazy eye but you should never scream at people.
The_Hitdude 12
Your comment makes zero sense. 'Tis all.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
It makes perfect sense to me. If OP was creeped out by the woman's staring, they should've asked her 'Can I help you?' or just ignored her. The lazy eye is really a minor detail. Screaming at people for looking at you funny is rude and immature. Thus, OP deserves it.
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Edit: I just realized 4's comment is indeed awkwardly worded, though I still got the message. My bad.
Kog_Hiro 17
Well, way to be a bully OP. She was just standing there.
Pandacupcakelove 26
I don't think you know what a bully is... OP thought this lady was starring at her/him so s/he got creeped out and told the lady to stop! How is that bullying? I hate it when people abuse that word.
Cartera 10
Bully bully bully
Pandacupcakelove 26
77- Oh watch out, we're dealing with a badass over here!
wizardwizard 4
You would get annoyed if you thought someone was staring at you to. It's rude to stare.
Kog_Hiro 17
Sarcasm... Duh. To think people think they have a sense of humor this days.
MurphyS94 4
100- it's also rude to 'scream' at someone for being a bit awkward. OP must have anger issues.
Fml_FTW228 10
110- "To think people think they have a sense of humor this days." What the **** are trying to say?!? Spit it out! Was it; **"To think people have a sense of humor these days?"**
downtime 13
62, You have an odd idea of what "told" means. Yelling at someone for looking at you isn't "telling" them something, its being a jackass. 100, Yes, but I wouldn't yell at someone like that because of where their eyes are focused. If they were daydreaming and happened to be looking in my direction I'd still feel like a total dick for yelling at them over nothing. I don't understand how anyone has sympathy for this idiot. They screamed at someone because of where their eyes were focused, they aren't worthy of sympathy.
Pandacupcakelove 26
110- Oh Yeah, what was I thinking! You're totally right, bullying is so funny!
Pandacupcakelove 26
138- Yeah, OP did sort of overreact. But i do understand that it freaked him/her out.
Epsilonyx 15
Do you do this when babies stare at you?
ImABagel 0
I'm gonna take a shot in the dark and say no, most likely not.
esines 9
I do, babies piss me off. They're like midgets that shit themselves every 10mins
sakura_girl 14
Next time, check that both eyes are looking in the same direction?
Jakesterk96 8
Way to show her OP, I know if someone was staring at me for that long I'd scream at 'em.
kkjkidonthate 4
Please tell me you were being sarcastic, if not you're a dick.
Jakesterk96 8
Sorry, I forgot to put my sarcastic font on.*click*
PuffDaddy395 3
Is it lazy, or honestly not able to live up to its full potential? Maybe the eye tries to see, but it couldn't ever figure it out, and it's parents called it dumb and incompetent, when really and truly it was giving its best effort. You should think twice before calling an eye lazy...
esines 9
What a dick
challan 19
Honestly made me lol :)
esines 9
I meant OP for making fun of the.. **** it never mind
esines 9
I meant OP for makin fun of the.. Oh **** it never mind
KRiddle 15
Ass.
DiscoRanger 0
I know you are but what is OP?! No but seriously your comment sucked.