Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I went to a tanning salon. I guess nobody mentioned that you have to lift your fat rolls or you'll end up with weird stripes where the spray never reached. FML
New, from L'Oréal!
Today, I used a self-tanning towelette to help even out my tan lines and disguise my vitiligo a bit. Now my stomach is orange and my spots are even more noticeable. FML
Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML
Today, after applying sunscreen to myself every two hours, I still got sunburned. Through my clothes. FML
Today, I was badly sunburnt even after making it a point to apply a lot of sunscreen. My coworkers thought it amusing to slap me every chance they get. FML
Tanning
Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML
You what now?
Today, I was called a wimp for getting a sunburn. FML
Soft as snow
Today, I'm so pale that I managed to get a sunburn while sitting in a bus. FML
Today, after having my bath, I realised that I've gotten so fat that I have to lift up my butt cheeks in order to dry underneath them. FML
Today, I realized I can hold a pencil in my fat rolls. FML
Top comments
quadder 0
That's nasty
YoLauryn 0
Pretend you did it on purpose to look like a tiger :)
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Comments (319)
NeverShoutDana 13
Nothing hotter than a six pack of jelly rolls.
youliketacos 0
Wait.. if you have rolls, wouldn't they cover up the tan lines...?
KellyMrocksmysox 4
Bwahahahhahaha!
kialuvsyoo 3
Well, it's true though.
youliketacos 0
And if for some odd reason they don't.. then there is always spray tanning.
a_nutritionist 10
agree. you dont take your fat rolls off, so nobody will see...thats kinda why people dont like tan lines, because they dont wear their clothes 24/7...if they did nobody would really give a shit. i could understand if youre a volleyball player or something and are likely to be doing some intense activity that will expose the hidden flesh but lets face it, you dont get fat rolls from being excessively active.
bigAC 6
tape those rolls up!!!! haha
mrrossh 3
Damn, lose some weight!!
DamnSmooth 0
God help me, when I become Supreme Grand Poobah; I'm outlawing fat people from getting naked, having sex and/or defecating.
fairymacabre 7
you are god! :D
DamnSmooth 0
Thanks ! At least someone here recognizes my greatness.
DamnSmooth 0
Fun Fact - 5 out of 5 people who viewed my comments as 'negative' have had (or are currently having) unwanted & unnecessary hardships due to "fat."
zonbieman 0
Yaaaaa, there's a reason why no ones gonna elect you supreme grand poobah, lol
DamnSmooth 0
Actually, from the responses I've seen to the OP's post already ... there's plenty of people here who would back me in my campaign against "Fat.". Right now the slogan is "Stomp out Fat before Fat stomps out You."
sxe_beast 11
I'm with you. Fat people gross me out =o!
MufMuf_fml 5
You're a bit of an ass.
loljkgirl 0
Exactly. I hate people who say fat people gross them out. They're STILL PEOPLE. Just like you and me. They shouldn't gross you out. They're not aliens. Some of them can't even help it! What if someone said, "I hate bitches they gross me out" oh wait I just did and I meant it.
DamnSmooth 0
Wait a minute ... are you saying fat people have 'feelings' & and just want to be 'loved' ?!
aFatFuck 0
Nothing wrong with wanting people to be healthier but is it necessary to be a total asshole, you douche-tool?
sxe_beast 11
That "OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH I CAN'T HELP IT" is such a cop-out. Being extremely overweight is comparable to someone who doesn't bath. Its gross. They're not like me at all because I take care of myself. If that makes me a bitch, fine. I would rather be a bitch than morbidly obese.
NomNomNomNommm 4
You, sir, are an ass. Some people have eating disorders and diseases that cause them to gain weight no matter what they do. They could work out all the time trying their hardest to be skinny to look good for people but still couldn't. So because of this you have to get rid of them. That's just horrible. People like you **** up this world. One more thing, what if they tried to take a shower? They can't get naked for that? Ew. You want them to smell nasty? And why not let them have sex? Let them if the other person is alright with it. If you had an eating disorder your comment would be the complete opposite.
TanyaKJC 9
But there's a thing as too obese to the point it affects your body and eventually you get so big you are on bed rest for life. Ik some1 like that and he can't even fit through a door and constantly has an ambulance outside their house. There's such a thing as surgery to get rid of the unhealthy fat. And not everybody has a medical problem, some say it as an excuse. Most people are just lazy people who love food too much.
frosh2 9
Umm my sister is 13 and 165 pounds... But it's nt here fault. She has a mental disability and the medicine she takes for it makes here overweight and the fact the if she stops the meds she will get deathly sick!! AND she has a thyroid problem tht makes her overweight!!! She eats Lyke a bird and is extremely active!!! Sometimes it's nt a persons fault if they r overweight so just back off!!!
TanyaKJC 9
Ok w.e. If shes at least active then it should keep her relatively healthy. I'm not saying surgery is for everybody. But some people are obese by choice and don't even do anything about it. They just use it as an excuse for everything. Ik people like that. I'm sorry she has all those problems but that's not how every person is. I respect her being active, if they are active then idc
a_nutritionist 10
@167 you dont get to decide what should or shouldnt gross people out. they have every right to an opinion on their own personal feelings. theres a difference between that and ridiculing someone, something you should realise if youre going to be throwing your own opinions around like theyre fact.
DamnSmooth 0
Yes it is. From my experiences, fat people (women in particular) have quite an insatiable need for attention. Unfortunately, this tends to result in them being as loud, obnoxious & shameless as possible. Being the gentleman I'am; I've decided that I'm going to give it to them. I hope they are happy.
sskarma23 9
Good idea
bigbadtim 7
I did not need that mental image.
WhoopWhoop321 18
That's nice!
ximeldax 0
i didn't know beached whales could tan ._.
chanoscar 8
lmao
kewlkate 9
Uncalled for. Their weight could be hereditary, you don't necessarily know this person.
ximeldax 0
oh sorry kewlkate, i honestly hope that i didn't offend you.
iAddictiion 0
****** please
iAddictiion 0
I didn't know black people had FML posting rights. ;_;
WCARlover 35
I think that's a sign to hit the gym
loljkgirl 0
People are so mean. I'm sorry that you have to deal with that. It's probably really tough for you. But I like the idea of saying you were trying to look like a tiger ^_^
kialuvsyoo 3
How does it make sense to say the other people are mean and then say exactly what they are saying?
loljkgirl 0
Because I'm actually being nice about it. Not saying how "I didn't know beached whales could tan" or some other rude comment from another dumbfuck who is probably overweight himself saying these things to make himself feel better.
a_nutritionist 10
when your whole story is focused around how your bodyshape has affected an activity, it kinda makes sense to comment on topic. people are rude on every fml, the difference is when its about weight theres always a bunch of idiots trying to act like the internet police, as though you can call everyone stupid, but dont go insulting fat people... i expect to see you making similar comments on every fml in which someone is being insulted, otherwise your word isnt worth shit.
dstivers 0
What you could do is flip the rolls over next time and get the part that didn't tan. That may help