Today, I went to let my puppy out, and I turned around to see her peeing on the carpet. After getting her outside, I saw my little sister pooping on the floor. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, we were in the car with my puppy, who favours my sister. She had been sat on her lap for a while, when she stood up and climbed onto my lap. I was really pleased until she peed on me and then went straight back to my sister. FML
Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML
Today, my sister asked me to let her dog out of the kennel when I got home. I did only to have the little beast bite me. She then ate the entire content of the cat's litter box, which she couldn't keep down. FML
Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML
Today, I was babysitting my 8-year-old niece. I left her for 10 minutes so I could take a shower, only to walk in on her with her dress rolled up, peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
Today, my mom called me and said, "I made your sister laugh so hard she peed her pants." I got home and noticed she also peed on my bed. FML
Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML
Today, my dog wanted to go upstairs, but she has stitches and was having trouble. So I carried her to the top, at which point she peed all over my carpet. FML
Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML
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Top comments
Popeye2341 13
There's an easy solution to this, let your sister out too, along with the puppy! Or the dog can learn how to use the John I guess...
SquilliamFancy 15
I'd love to spend a night in the wild ride that must be your house! Dear god, how old is your sister? If you say around six or under, I get it. But if she's beyond the age of pull-ups and finally being able to use the restroom entirely without aide, damn. On a better note, it's a good thing you have a puppy! I'm sure those doggy bags will really come in handy
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Comments (29)
may14th 26
train that bitch
SquilliamFancy 15
I feel like this was meant to be clever, and taken as some sort of double edged humor, but you really missed the bar here, friend. I'm an uptight and snooty cephalopod, yes, but even I wouldn't stoop to inherently calling a little girl a bitch.
almost_there44 26
Calling someone a bitch because you think she called a child a bitch is hypocritical. But just 2 minutes later, you compare a child to an animal. Explain yourself.
SquilliamFancy 15
Okay! 1) Read my initial statement again, get a grasp, and maybe some glasses, as to what it really says, because nowhere in that statement do I call the original commenter a bitch, and then talk to me. 2) I never compared a child to an animal; I was making a joke, with you know, -humor-, that you obviously seem to lack. (If you really want the step by step behind the joke, which you clearly seem to need: the OP's little sister took a dump. On the ground. Doggy bags - or plastic bags as they're more commonly called - are what one uses to pick up said dump OFF the ground. Which is why it was suggested. Get it? Or was that too complicated for you as well?) I didn't call the girl whose comment I responded to initially a bitch, but I will definitely call you one.
almost_there44 26
#8-You made that long post in reference to me when I am clearly not talking about you. The comment that got moderated is whom I was referring to. Calling me a bitch is not going to phase me; after all, this is just an app. You seem angry, take a nap. Have a great day!
Popeye2341 13
There's an easy solution to this, let your sister out too, along with the puppy! Or the dog can learn how to use the John I guess...
SquilliamFancy 15
I'd love to spend a night in the wild ride that must be your house! Dear god, how old is your sister? If you say around six or under, I get it. But if she's beyond the age of pull-ups and finally being able to use the restroom entirely without aide, damn. On a better note, it's a good thing you have a puppy! I'm sure those doggy bags will really come in handy
kahlysta 12
she is 2, actually so it's reasonable I guess haha and yes this is my post, I just wrote it before creating an account lol
turtle_darkness 17
Maybe incest in some puppy pads and diapers...
Mynamewontfi 40
How a small typo can make an entire comment weird.
turtle_darkness 17
Lmao I didn't even notice, oops. Oh well.
kingdomgirl94 29
That's what you get for making bad puns on incest FML's all the time.
zedjaleaf1 11
Incoming "that's a shitty situation" jokes.
lui_pg 21
No it's more like he was pissed off
fleur_de_fevrier_fml 23
That's what we call team work!
SubparAtBest 23
I believe that little girl was getting Schwifty
JustTheTruth42 13
Rick? Is that you?
TheMathMajor 26
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT
countryb_cth 38
Makes me wonder... who's teaching who?
blueknight1st 26
Did you rub her nose in it?
Fartful_Dodger 8
And who said it isn't easy to train 'em?