Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum." I'm only 26 years-old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML
Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
Today, two aggressive police officers appeared at my door informing me that a complaint was filed about my 18 year-old son having "inappropriate relations" with a 16 year-old. We live in England. I had to Google the law to prove to them this was legal. FML
Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
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Top comments
un0m3 14
If he is acting like a child, treat him like a child. Ground him.
vipirius 18
And girls never stop generalizing. See how 2 can play at that game?
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Comments (71)
dash99 10
I must ask...what did the neighbour say?
88rocks 2
They called the cops...
exo_went_insane 12
I see you raised him right :)
False_Stupidity 42
I guess that's just how he rolls.
demonfacee 14
That kinda explains why he still lives with you, he simply can't grow up.
amrose1318 10
The question that comes to my mind. Was it used or unused toilet paper?
sammyjanette 17
Why wasn't he jailed for trespassing and vandalism? Let me guess what you look like............
Niedermayer_20 12
Surprised he was not with others.
Kittyphysics 21
At 23 he could be out doing tons of stupid shit. Drugs. Driving drunk. Making awkward love babies. Tp is tp, it's harmless fun. I'm 28, and if I'd been asked to go along, I would have. My god you guys. Stop taking life so damn seriously.
syed121417 22
In a sense I agree with you, with that he could be doing worse. But I think OP is referencing the fact that he is using his time to do tp someone's house instead of something productive. It's more about immaturity I think.
syed121417 22
Not surprised but FYL still. Always remember: men never really grow up, they just learn how to hide their immaturity better as they age. I've defenitly learned that.
Smiley_70 22
Did you say "Mr Officer I am no longer responsible for his actions he us legally an adult. Honestly what do they expect you to do