Today, after moving house, changing my number, my email, and beginning legal action to get away from a girl who was stalking me, I decided to go to the movies to relax. As soon as I got in my seat, that same girl walked into the nearly empty theatre. She sat next to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was at the cinema. There was a really tall woman in front of me and whenever I leaned to the right or left she would lean to the same side I do. Later, she started laughing. They guy next to her was telling her where I moved. FML
Today, I went to the cinema with a girl I like. Knowing she has a bit of a soft spot for me, I was keen to sit in the back row. Too bad her sister tagged along, insisted that we sit somewhere else, and scolded me every time I so much looked at her. I ended up paying for the unwanted guest as well. FML
Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML
Today, finally accepting the fact that the love of my life has moved on, I took myself to a movie, alone, on a Saturday night. After buying the last ticket to a sold out movie and trying to find the only open seat in the dark, I sit down... right next to my ex-best friend AND my ex-fiancé. FML
Today, I went to the movies. A really cute girl sat beside me. I tried to strike up a conversation with her until she turned to look at me and I realized he was a guy. I couldn't even finish the movie because I felt his judging eyes burn holes into me the entire time. FML
Today, I asked a buddy of mine if he wanted to go see a movie. He said he was busy, so I decided to go alone. Midway through, the couple behind me was making out and kicking my seat. I turned around, and it's my ex-girlfriend making out with my buddy. FML
Today, after I invited my friend to a movie and she cancelled on me because she had to study, I obviously agreed and cancelled our tickets, I was scrolling through Instagram stories and came across hers, and saw she was with one of her friends in that same movie theater. FML
Today, I was sitting behind a cute girl in class. She said she liked musicals, so I played The Greatest Showman at full blast on my headphones. She turned around and moved seats. FML
Today, I gave my phone number to a guy at the movie theatre. I was excited to receive a text a few minutes later, sure enough when I unlocked my phone I had received a message from an unknown number. It was his girlfriend. FML
Today, I went to see a movie by myself and ended up sitting next to a couple on a first date, who spent the whole movie whispering to each other. FML
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Top comments
Rei_Ayanami 18
Is it a "I love you!" stalk or a "When nobody else is around, you're dead." kind of stalking?
c420racer 13
Crazy girls are the best in bed :)
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Comments (158)
c420racer 13
Crazy girls are the best in bed :)
theian01 3
Can I watch?
TroII 0
Unless they stab you.... :D
boomsl4ng 11
agreed!!
OrginalOwen 0
Just **** the ever living shhot out of her initll she can't walk and then I'd like to see her stalk you.
MaximilianMarche 0
best first comment I've seen
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
as true as that may be, they do not take break ups well. my ex didn't and one morning I woke up with my nut sack superglued to my thigh and a strange soreness in my butt.
sourgirl101 29
Were you dating Rose from Two and a Half Men?
jaybird09 0
Amen
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
oc, that cracked me up. *locks doors*
rallets 23
lmfao #65 but yea, we should lock up our doors and hide our kids, hide our wives, and hide our husbands too cause she rapin' everybody out here
mak3_1t_ra1n 0
91, it's errbody, and it's getting old.
ice_rose88 0
lol lol lol
rallets 23
ahh #92 is a buzzkill
theporkchop 0
nice shirt ice rose. good color for you. you are very dashing in it. go eagle! :)
WTSchool 0
OP is female.
zzzjakezzz 0
tht syx fir u
mrtuffles 0
SSDD
GaryBusey1121 0
restraining order to protect your penis is my best advice
Lizza330 28
It says OP is a girl.
CitrusGirl 0
Fail. OP is a girl.
GaryBusey1121 0
Strap-on Penis is what I meant to say
KittehSayzRAWR 0
lolz.
daymann 0
why would you move and do all this shit before you took legal action?
thatonek1d 0
get out your phone and call 911
smacky101 0
**** your life if she's an uggo.
ghm1234 0
What the hell is an uggo?
skyttlz 32
An ugly person.
Xx_jESSii 3
Uh oh she found you Op run! :)
LeFrogDog 27
good now that he is close distance taz/pepper spray/punch/kick/stab/
sweet_candy_ 17
Runnnnnn op she is out to get you.
JonaDona 2
Bitches be crazy!
Rei_Ayanami 18
Is it a "I love you!" stalk or a "When nobody else is around, you're dead." kind of stalking?
TeratoMarty 6
Doesn't really matter. The "I LOVE YOU" stalkings turn into "IF I CAN'T HAVE YOU, NO-ONE CAN" as soon as the stalker's deranged fantasies tell her that her beloved is "cheating" on her via looking at other women or daring to have a social life. My ex's ex before me was that way. One day it's "I can't live without you," only to be followed by "You won't live without me," as backed up by a carving knife. Good job getting a restraining order, OP.
b_anhero 0
^ this
flighted 1
exactly. I had a stalker for an entire year when I was a senior in hs...and he went to the same school as me. it REALLY sucks, ad is terrifying. he thought we were 'meant to be together' and even attempted suicide after my plenty of attempts to get away from him. in the end I never did get that damn restraining order cause the freaking d.a or whatever they're called was retiring that very year and "didnt see anything wrong with it". apparently following me class to class, sending me txt messages morning-morning nonstop, attempting suicide when rejected thousands of times and harassing me is perfectly normal behavior. people who do these kind of things are freaking insane
unfortunate_13 5
stand up and take another seat. if she keeps following you, inform the staff and they'll get rid of her.
flighted 1
it's a little bit more of a problem to just move. if the dude who used to stalked me suddenly appeared next to me in a theatre I would have a heart attack, no lie, and probably wouldn't go back to that theatre for at least a year or more. thank god that hasn't happened
alifoxy 1
well obviously it's too late to do that.
Lizza330 28
Call the police?
Jimboom 12
Some people are just like crazy magnets. The only way to cure this affliction is swallow all the fridge magnets you can get your hands on. ;-)
gusgus36 5
what a crazy stalker! maybe she has a tracking device attached to you lol... what are the chances it was coincidence?
MaximilianMarche 0
you look like a crazy stalker. gps devices? creepy
hemz_fml 13
now if I was there
SecureReflex 0
#37- All the stalkers wear cowboy getup cause they're all from Texas, I would know being my home state.
chriswest54 0
ur hot!!!
ceejster 0
if Texas was your home state (as it is mine) you would respect it enough to not say shit like that about her! (Texas, for all ya morons out there)
flighted 1
wow, rude. ceej~ is right. you don't disrespect our great state of Texas! loser. I love Texas. an I wasn't even born here lol
gccobra 0
Wait how many shotguns do u have???? Sandy??