Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum." I'm only 26 years-old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML
Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
Today, two aggressive police officers appeared at my door informing me that a complaint was filed about my 18 year-old son having "inappropriate relations" with a 16 year-old. We live in England. I had to Google the law to prove to them this was legal. FML
Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
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Top comments
un0m3 14
If he is acting like a child, treat him like a child. Ground him.
vipirius 18
And girls never stop generalizing. See how 2 can play at that game?
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Comments (71)
Ravenz_fml 10
That's real "shitty" for your son
iTzYourDad 10
No , just nuke yourself .
tashb 17
Kick him out? Tell him he's an adult and needs to start acting like one...?
ewang_ 12
Just spat water on my phone from laughing
un0m3 14
If he is acting like a child, treat him like a child. Ground him.
sayyestothedress 24
And take his phone away!
vikky538 29
and also the toilet paper...
sayyestothedress 24
#38 that's the worst punishment! How will he wipe his shit!
Zebediabolical 45
With a sock.
ShadowlessSpear 21
Real men use their hands.
sayyestothedress 24
That ******* disgusting #44
Zebediabolical 45
Real men use someone else's hand.
MrsDruidess 23
op is so upset that her grown son did this, his real punishment should be growing the hell up and getting kicked out!! Cut the cord mom, your obviously not doing him any favors
rosso700 14
Guys never grow up
Rinat_fml 26
Go away.
sarah5745 41
Not all guys, some are very sensible..
vipirius 18
And girls never stop generalizing. See how 2 can play at that game?
silvercamaro 22
Clearly this FML post sums up the entire male gender in one fell swoop
MrSassypants 34
The only guy that doesn't grow up is Peter Pan.
LikeYouGiveAShit 27
Throw toilet paper at him as punishment. Then he's sure to never do it again!
EvilTurtle 35
How is getting something so soft thrown at you a punishment?
Ichiya 29
Used toilet paper!
noah_1234 24
17 thats better.
LikeYouGiveAShit 27
Of course! What else could I have meant :)
coldasfire 23
what a waste ;_;
GigaPudding_fml 24
Halloween's coming up! He probably had to practice... Right. That must be it. *Trying to explain irrational behaviour*
Dellipop 12
It's Australia... Halloween is not really celebrated
GigaPudding_fml 24
Ah, I didn't know :) I'm from Sweden and we still celebrate Halloween!
epilepticloh 20
And he's still living at home??
Psychicgirl17 18
A lot of adults live with their parents. Especially the ones that are college age
syed121417 22
It's not that easy to live alone, ya know. If someone is in college and doesn't dorm, staying at home is the best option. It's hard to find work especially these days. I think when you get your first place alone, it shouldn't depend on age, it should be based on how ready you are to be an adult, which even that shouldn't be based on a number.
HowieDoIt 21
Looks like someone just lost their TV privileges for a month.
orbit 22
But dad it's shark week
xluciferx666 21
Now he won't be able to watch the my little pony marathon...darn
JMichael 26
But I don't wanna act like an adult!
dancer824 18
living like Larry.
XcuzimsotiredX 25
nobody likes you when you're twenty three
coldasfire 23
23 was one of the best years of my life so duck you c:
ckerane 16
tell him to act his age and not his shoe size