Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum." I'm only 26 years-old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML
Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML
Today, I had to chase down and tackle a boy (around 11 or 12) at my workplace after I caught him snatching someone's wallet and trying to quickly sneak out with it. Now everyone thinks I have something against children, even after I returned the stranger's wallet and explained that the little brat is a thief. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
Today, while working at my local supermarket, I found a boy lost and wandering about, so I took him to the front desk. My reward from his mother was a slap around the face and harsh words for supposedly having kidnapped him. FML
Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML
Today, I went over to my friend's house. Her 5 year-old son answered the door and when he saw me said, "Oh great, it's YOU!" and slammed the door in my face. FML
Today, at the park, I saw my toddler fall. I rushed over, picked him up, and said, “It’s OK, Mum’s here.” He looked confused. So did his real mum. I had mistakenly grabbed a random child instead of my own in front of everyone. They weren't even wearing similar clothes. FML
Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML
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Top comments
Palirose 22
Tell the police that, so that they can take him to his real home and family.
tacojauns 45
Congratulations on your new son!
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Comments (70)
Palirose 22
Tell the police that, so that they can take him to his real home and family.
Nukes4You 8
Psssht. Nah, leave them to figure it out.
FastidiousPear 6
Yeah, go along with it. Be like, "Ricky, you scamp. Get in here." Then when the cops leave tell him you'll turn him in of he doesn't pay you every week.
Harpy20 24
Sounds like a smart kid.
Cashtangoteam 10
Well you should ground his ass, that'll teach him to not show up at your doorstep.
oj101 33
Victoria, Australia? Was the 15 year old guy one of the Janoskians? They do stuff like that - being public nuisances.
madreedy 7
Reminded me of Angelina Jolie's movie "Changeling"
xXLadyWhiskeyXx 13
GAH! I was going to suggest that!
AFCA020 4
My guess is that the real fml is not this 15 yr old kid saying he's her son, but the cops believing the kid while op is 26... therefore the cops must think she looks a little over 26
RayearthNinja 10
This sounds like the first episode of Once Upon a Time...
Enslaved 38
Did you play along or send him to the fryer where he deserves to be?
strawberrywine22 30
But where's the fun in that? Much better to cover for the kid, gain his trust, obtain actual address, and blackmail him!
zebraumicornz 6
24-Yep it's so much more fun to go to jail for black mailing children. *clap clap clap*
samasara 20
47. #24 was obviously being sarcastic...
Googolman 29
OP: I will show you some ID that I am only 26! Cop: Gasp! You naughty girl, having sex at 11 years. We're taking you to the slammer!
cosicosei 22
bahaha faking addresses. I bet he faked his name too, who wants to get caught, he was probably really scared.
strawberrywine22 30
I hope if he faked his name he at least came up with something good. My kid brother got caught selling cigarettes to middle schoolers and his fake name ended up being Hancock Rugby, a combination of the poster in the store window next to him and the street sign.
Zomg_Okay 27
21 - There are more dangers than just your name sounding silly. There's a chance of faking your name via your surroundings going horribly horribly wrong, as a certain Pea-Tear Griffin can attest to.
little_sailor 8
I'm naming my child Hancock Rugby.
EnigmaThe321 12
Well, the stork was just a tad bit late. Surprise!
GhostDuck 30
More like early, OP's only 26. Clever boy, faking addresses. Did you play along OP?
pjordanw 9
You should have played along with it. Would make for a good story. Lol
tacojauns 45
Congratulations on your new son!
TrueTriage 16
Good thing this kid has his head straight half the parenting is done for you!
nigsuzzi 3
Jokes on u guys. OP is blind. : P
irishpassion16 6
I hate it when FML's leave you wondering what happened next! This is one of those FML's.
strawberrywine22 30
That's why I love it when the authors give feedback! Hopefully she does, this has got humorous potential!
banana527 12
Me too! I rlyy want to no what happened
strawberrywine22 30
The doting auntie in me would have played along to keep him out of trouble, but the soon-to-be mama in me would have played along and beat his ass for the vandalism and the lying! Okay, perhaps that's a bit harsh. Probably just have a few choice words for him while turning him over to his real parents.
laden_swallow09 35
No, not a bit harsh at all! In fact, that sounds exactly what a good mother should do.
conholio33 28
Did you tell the cops that he wasnt your kid.... They should deal with it if he isnt your kid and take him home where he belongs