Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my son got suspended from school. He's in kindergarten. FML
Today, my teenage son tried to huff a can of spray paint. FML
Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML
Today, my son, who to my great shame is a typical bully, was suspended for bullying a disabled girl. Her father must have been the biggest, meanest, most tattooed ex-marine I've ever seen. He blamed me for bad parenting, and I actually peed myself a little in fear, which he saw too. FML
Today, my son's school called to inform me that I had to come pick him up, as he was caught vandalising. What shenanigans had he gotten up to? Writing "Epstein didn't kill himself" on various desks and walls around the school. I'm not sure if I should applaud the sentiment, or be annoyed that he got caught. FML
Today, my 14 year-old got a 5-day suspension for fighting. He stood up for an 7th grader who was getting picked on. While the poor kid was eating lunch, they were messing with him when my son stepped in. There were some words said, then a fight. He feels terrible for fighting but I think he was in the right. FML
Today, I was bitched out by my 17 year-old son's teacher. It seems the idiot teacher made the kids advocate for his own political beliefs in a presentation, and my son ended his speech saying, "And it remains my opinion that our instructor is cramping my motherfucking style." Instant suspension. FML
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
Today, my six-year-old son called to say he was suspended from school for drawing some “pretty flowers.” Confused as to why that would warrant punishment, I took a look and they were swastikas. He’s inconsolable. FML
Today, I got my ass beat by some kid in my grade. The reason I was targeted? The superintendent, aka my idiot father, suspended him for defending himself in another fight. The kid told me it's not personal, he needed to prove a point that our school doesn't do shit about bullying, As much as I agree with him… FML
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Top comments
sweet_candy_ 17
He is hanging out with the wrong crowd :(
perdix 31
Don't worry, he was talking about the band. Sting really ****** over Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers when he ditched them for his self-indulgent solo career. Or maybe he was angry when they jumped the shark with "Ghost in the Machine." Either way, it wasn't really about you.
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Comments (229)
sweet_candy_ 17
He is hanging out with the wrong crowd :(
MagneticGuitar 0
Son, I am disappoint.
deputy_g 5
I would beat my son within the law if he did that
impatientsnake 4
look ppl it's officer bot policeman or woman can everyone just get it rite
bobateme 0
Haters gonna hate lol. hes been hanging out with the 4chan crowd.
Phyre24 17
^ Hangover 1 & 2 FTW!!!!
DarkSerge20 6
I hate the police myself and can't blame him for believing the same, but it's messed up you gotta pay for the damage--he should, most certainly.
katieebugg 3
That's why you'll be in jail for your life.
frank51895 9
I you don't mind me asking, have you ever been arrested?
Kitty_Kat16 16
most 14 year olds don't have jobs in ohio i don't even think they're aloud them legaly
banana_buddy 6
This comment is going to get spammed with thumb downs but I have to say this, I was going to get first but my stupid computer froze as i pressed the submit button. Dawm it I was so close to achieving FML greatness.
Rainbow_dumpster 28
This is the second ironic anecdote I've seen in one day. xD
TheB0a 5
Sit your son down and talk to him. Only thing I can really think of now.
LightningLadyy 0
The kid might as well have written "**** YOU DAD!!"
perdix 31
Don't worry, he was talking about the band. Sting really ****** over Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers when he ditched them for his self-indulgent solo career. Or maybe he was angry when they jumped the shark with "Ghost in the Machine." Either way, it wasn't really about you.
califbob 3
you nailed it!
perdix 31
Typical teenager! When he needs money, he's all nice to the dad, but out in public, it's don't stand so close to me.
Doortje 30
I guess what he was really trying to say is "**** YOU, DAD". But you're not seriously paying for the damage are you? Make him pay for it, one way or another.
wellinever 5
No, it was a message for his Mum. The OP should be grateful his son has his best interests at heart.
ulicksam 0
At least you raised him to think correctly about some of those in power. Unfortunately, he's still an idiot.
HesJustTheBest 0
"Now the kids, they listen to the rap music which gives them the brain damage. With the hippin' and the hoppin' and the bippin' and the boppin' and don't what the jazz is all about!" That kid's a keeper.
ramirezlmt 0
I hate cops too but I wouldn't do that to my dad. So definitely take this personally this was a direct announcement that he doesn't like you. Idk why your kid is an bad apple wrong crowd? Too much or less discipline but things need to change. You know where that road leads and I wouldn't be surprised if he failed a home drug test. Good luck not a father but I feel your pain.