Today, early in the morning, I got a knock on the door from the police. It seems my son and his friend had been caught throwing toilet paper at a neighbour's house. He's 23. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum." I'm only 26 years-old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my neighbor. I was heading off to work when I saw him actually shitting in our yard. The reason? They caught my dumbass rebel of a son on their security camera, shitting in their yard. FML
Today, I had to bail my son out of jail, because he's a wimp and wouldn't last a night in there. His crime: pissing through the open windows of passing cars after losing a bet with his friends. I feel like if he gave me grandkids, they'd be born with half a brain. FML
Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML
Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML
Today, two aggressive police officers appeared at my door informing me that a complaint was filed about my 18 year-old son having "inappropriate relations" with a 16 year-old. We live in England. I had to Google the law to prove to them this was legal. FML
Today, the police were canvassing my neighbourhood about a recent robbery. When I answered the door, my brother saw badges, panicked, and jumped out our apartment's third-storey window in an attempt to escape. He thought they were after him for using a bong two weeks ago. I'm related to this twit. FML
Today, my 6-year-old son pooped in the back yard and used a stick to throw it over the fence into my neighbor's yard. FML
Today, I was in a public toilet taking a dump. I then noticed someone trying to peep under the door, so I kicked them in the head as hard as I could. Turned out it was a 5-year-old looking for his parent. FML
Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
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Top comments
un0m3 14
If he is acting like a child, treat him like a child. Ground him.
vipirius 18
And girls never stop generalizing. See how 2 can play at that game?
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Comments (71)
sorryheadphones 26
Are you sure it's meant to be a 13 and not a 23, because that's the age he's acting
chadermcchaf 16
He's 23 and he still does that? I'm 15 and people my age don't even do that ._.
Texasblackboots 16
Then y'all are lame and don't have fun with life
MidnaLink 35
So, to you, vandalism is considered fun, not lame? I see a precinct in your future.
hk1998 8
Haha
Sanchez1409 6
You should kick him out of the house.
Texasblackboots 16
Why? He was just having fun, hell we do that to people we like as a fun joke lol
Texasblackboots 16
Your never to old to tp a house Haha
lollypop624 11
Y-O-U apostrophe R-E means you are Y-O-U-R means your!
mylifebitches666 18
You must be so proud of your son.
worldclassrager 41
Still a child at heart...
purplhaze88 20
Hope it was the cheap stuff!
HarshD9619 34
We boys be age 21, looking 18, and acting 13
Geeve95 11
Childish