Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML
Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, a work colleague was trying to kill a fly that was buzzing around the place. I was about to go on my break, but was stopped because she missed the fly and accidentally whacked me in the balls in the process. By the time I didn’t feel sick anymore, my break was over. FML
Today, at my new job, a coworker offered to help me mop the floors since she wasn't busy. I ended up getting written up by my boss for supposedly being too lazy and making other people finish my work. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML
Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML
Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
raider27 7
Can't she get into trouble for hitting a co-worker?
BIEBERSLAYER 10
Your manager sounds like a real ball buster to me
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Comments (153)
stephvl 0
Lol that's funny but if it was me I would bankrupt the company for sexual assault
pip74205 9
Sounds like assault to me. But, you should always look behind you before talking smack.
gofferurself 10
that is not cool for your boss to sack you. You should probably take her up on charges or at least to her manager and get her sacked from her job.
zombiekitten87 12
well you probably deserved it, but I'd still give HR a call
Magex 12
Take that person to court! You have your co-worker as a witness, I'm guessing a couple of cameras, man she could be in biiiig trouble for assaulting you
aPieceOfFruit 16
So your foolish for childish slandering and she reacted foolishly. Funny though.......
iMagzzzy 0
Smack that bitch.
bugsfunny 0
atleast she ddnt fire you.
Calyx_fml 22
Tell your managers manager. Hell get fired and you'll get his job.
kaylapple 1
youre the slacker for standing around chatting.