Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML
Today, a random customer at work admonished my coworker for being on her phone. During our lunch break. As he walked away, my coworker muttered, "What the fuck is his problem?" I nodded in agreement. He heard her and saw me nodding. As did our boss. Time to get written up. FML
Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
Today, I watched a manager and a co-worker sit underneath a table in our store all day as I got yelled at for not working hard enough. I was the only one actually working. FML
Today, I was on my way to work and someone cut me off. I then switched lanes and sped past the person as I flipped them off. What I didn't notice was that the person that cut me off was my boss. He's been shooting me dirty looks from across the room all morning. FML
Today, my boss suspended me for laughing too hard at my desk and causing a big scene in front of our customers. I was laughing because he'd forwarded me a hilarious email. He was practically smirking as he handed me my official warning. FML
Today, my boss threatened to write me up, after I made a slightly rude joke about a coworker everyone hates. A while later, a colleague told me the same joke. Turns out my boss had gone around telling it to everyone else and taking all the credit. FML
Today, I got a new chair at work. After spending three hours putting it together, I was called into my boss's office and let go. FML
Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML
Today, my coworkers were bored. To solve this, they taped me to a chair and tried tickling me to death. My boss joined in. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Meraki 19
"One thing lead to another," ... I was expecting something sexual after that and facepalmed.
iLike2Teabag 27
I was expecting an FML about hooking up with coworkers when I first read this...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (70)
Meraki 19
"One thing lead to another," ... I was expecting something sexual after that and facepalmed.
mwhpug 4
Well it is a good start for a porno...
JMichael 26
I think anyone who reads that line automatically thinks it's something sexual. Anyway sorry you got the warning OP.
MrsPlague 11
Same here. I thought there was going to be some office orgy or something, lol.
wGx14 12
Am I the only one who doesn't have enough experience with kinky sexual activity to think this when I read the FML..?
ChevyRedneck85 13
^ Go away
KSer4lifeee 8
30 apparently yes
SmokinGuns 13
No, you're not. I simply read it all before I jumped to conclusions.
Welshite 40
He should have dressed in skimpy clothes and thrown a handkerchief for chair racing.
hugozac88 22
Ha my boss gets my bike and starts to ride around the office
iLike2Teabag 27
I was expecting an FML about hooking up with coworkers when I first read this...
zandalee 20
Me too. How disapointing... ;)
musicforhearts 15
It sucks that you got singled out but you really shouldn't have been doing that at work, even if it was a slow day.
XxXBadAshXxX 27
Facepalm for my dirty mind when the phrase "one thing led to another" arose.
arandomusernameaa 20
We know you have a dirty mind, because 1/2 your username is X's...
Coeliacchic93 21
and you have the word 'bad' in your username
nix1993 41
I see, because you obviously shoved yourself across the room. I do so love it when you hear these stories about nice bosses who treat everyone fairly. Really makes you look forward to going to work everyday.
Steve95401 49
You're lucky that you got off with just a warning and still have a job.
miller92308 7
did you offer him a turn?
ced443_fml 9
The upside is that your job seams to be fun to some extent. The downside is that your just like me, the person unlucky enough to always get caught despite everyone else'a participation.
RenoTheRhino 30
*seems *you're *else's Sorry, I had to.
TheAbstract 15
No, you didn't.
buttcramp 21
36, educating someone shouldn't be frowned upon. We should all strive to better ourselves no matter what.
ced443_fml 9
Sorry I hate my phone. I've had it for so long but I honestly can't type on it. Autocorrect is both a lifesaver and a killer for me.
owencgray 10
WHAT WERE YOU IDIOTS THINKING!?! you should have strapped a fire extinuisher to your back and used it to move around and have a demoloition derby with all your coworkers. duh.
fsomelife 26
I never do this, but can I be your friend? I can even provide the fire extinguisher.
owencgray 10
I'll bring the desk chairs.
buttcramp 21
I love this thread. I like you two. Whatever you're doing, I want in.
fsomelife 26
Dude you already have a buttcramp, clearly your last attempt didn't end well.
ArielTheMermaid 17
I would love to do this
owencgray 10
Well he forgot to stretch before hand so a butt cramp is not unexpected.