Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my coworker got angry at a mean customer. She came to the back where I work and started punching the wall repeatedly. When I tried to intervene and stop her from breaking her hand, she punched me in the stomach and uppercut me. FML
Today, at a meeting, I had a heated argument with the only female employee at the office. A little later, I managed to hit her in the face with a door, giving her a bruise. Nobody believes it was an accident. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, after a badly misjudged hand signal, I accidentally hit my boss in the face instead of high-fiving her. FML
Today, I smashed my finger with a hammer. A finger on the hand holding the hammer. FML
Today, my psycho boss snatched a file from my hand so aggressively that I got a papercut. She then scolded me for bleeding on the papers. FML
Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
Today, I finally worked up the nerve to quit my job after being tortured by my boss for months. My boss responded by throwing a hardcover textbook at me and hitting me in the face. FML
Today, my boss slapped me across the face with a raw chicken breast. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
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Top comments
olpally 33
Talk to another manager who isn't a bitch like her. That's ****** up. She should be fired for that.
cjlerch 29
I'm pretty sure that's assault. If you report that, she'll almost certainly be fired.
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Comments (85)
olpally 33
Talk to another manager who isn't a bitch like her. That's ****** up. She should be fired for that.
PennyLane27 32
There has to be someone she reports to- a VP, President, General Manager, Owner, etc. Most companies have a handbook that would outline what to do in a situation such as yours. She, or workers comp, should cover medical expenses. And talk to an attorney or the police or something for advice on what to do on the criminal side of things- that COULD be considered assault!! Sorry, OP! TGIF!
niallo 23
Not might be, it IS assault. The fact that she used a weapon and broke a bone makes it worse. If I were you I'd report it to the police. She's looking at jail time.
elusiveshame 22
Agreed. Report that to the police and press charges. Then tell her to take it up with hr, bitch.
GoodOptions 12
It is highly unlikely that she would spend any time in jail for this.
Digita1Fusion 7
Record would still ruin her life, company probably won't keep her if indicted.
Rinat_fml 26
Why the hell would she do that? Time for a talk I guess! FYL
cmchappy 25
Honestly I know I'm gona get hate for this somehow but some people like that will think it was hilarious
cjlerch 29
I'm pretty sure that's assault. If you report that, she'll almost certainly be fired.
igive 29
and possible jail-time
emeraldisle 30
What a ****! I hope you're able to take it up with her boss.
magickitten 26
Wow, that's awful! I'd take it up with the police..... Is she un-hinged because that is far from acceptable behaviour?
PleasantDino 22
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I am actually really curious as to how one can break their finger in the process of shaving. Enlighten me FML community?
sarah5745 41
'Saving' not 'shaving' #6
PleasantDino 22
whoops... don't FML off of 2 hours of sleep people
MrConcise 35
@24 - But I imagine it would be funnier that way.
mollyjynxjax 28
@32: It is sometimes. Just don't comment, or you'll probably make an ass of yourself.
may14th 26
there's always someone even higher up! good luck OP!
BecauseIAmBatman_fml 22
Could have been worse, she could have thrown Thor's hammer at you. But seriously report her.
17031990 20
She couldn't of thrown Thor's hammer though could she as he's the only one who can pick it up...
Dovahkiin_1997 22
Well I mean so can anybody else who's worthy but this lady obviously wouldn't be haha
shutupshane12 12
Or she could have killed your parents
kittyfrozen 19
wow #45, that escalated quickly
sarah5745 41
Wow, I never knew that a HR could be such a bitch..
spamhands1 18
Sounds like you need to find another job
slyde32 12
sounds like the HR manager needs to find a new job