Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML
Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, a work colleague was trying to kill a fly that was buzzing around the place. I was about to go on my break, but was stopped because she missed the fly and accidentally whacked me in the balls in the process. By the time I didn’t feel sick anymore, my break was over. FML
Today, at my new job, a coworker offered to help me mop the floors since she wasn't busy. I ended up getting written up by my boss for supposedly being too lazy and making other people finish my work. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML
Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML
Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
raider27 7
Can't she get into trouble for hitting a co-worker?
BIEBERSLAYER 10
Your manager sounds like a real ball buster to me
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Comments (153)
jacksonclarke 0
serves you right for whinging leave the bitching for the girls you softcock.
konot9 1
You, sir, now have the right to kick that SYNT in the ****** as hard as you want to.
acc1 2
You definitely should press charges against that $&@§!
Beck2209 0
The truth hurts.
ohlalala_fml 0
u can sue her/him you know
AssassinJr 0
go sit in the corner, dumbass
madz5758 10
Um, she's not legally allowed to do that.
smashgrab 0
YDI for talking shit about your boss without making sure he/she wasn't there, but definitely call the cops & file assault charges. Your boss had no right to get physical, and needs to learn that this kind of behavior is unacceptable.
Gruv3r14 1
Sue the manager for assault.
ItCouldBeYou 1
YDIdiots for believing him! Hes obviously lying! Its obviously illegal, which is why it didnt happen!