Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML
Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, a work colleague was trying to kill a fly that was buzzing around the place. I was about to go on my break, but was stopped because she missed the fly and accidentally whacked me in the balls in the process. By the time I didn’t feel sick anymore, my break was over. FML
Today, at my new job, a coworker offered to help me mop the floors since she wasn't busy. I ended up getting written up by my boss for supposedly being too lazy and making other people finish my work. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML
Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML
Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
raider27 7
Can't she get into trouble for hitting a co-worker?
BIEBERSLAYER 10
Your manager sounds like a real ball buster to me
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Comments (153)
slrosa 2
If this is true which its not its not an fml its a yay I get to Sue my job for assault and sexual harassment
InvertedNipples 3
"Clean my house bitch!!!!"
olectra47_fml 0
I don't believe you.
Sara01 5
Assult much?
EvilDave 13
OP, you should have your manager arrested for battery, demand your manager be fired for workplace violence, then sue your manager and your employer.
ThreeSheetsGone 12
If I had a choice, I'd rather get hit in the jewels than lose my job. This way, you can file a grievance against your manager, she could get fired, and you might wind up with her job. Sounds to me like this is a golden opportunity for you, OP.
0opsie 6
Why does this have more YDIs? Like no one ever talks about people who piss them off. If this was a woman talking about a male manager he wouldn't have the right to slap her. FYL for having to work under someone who thinks it's acceptable to get physical. Report the assault and her slacking (if that part is actually true.)
AriadneBelle 3
It is partially YDI for talking bad about her within earshot in the first place, but I agree. The punishment absolutely did not fit the crime here. FYL, OP.
rooneyroo 0
Free speech. he didn't deserve it at all. the pussy manager that gets butthurt over words and resorts to violence needs to spend a month in jail and obviously lose their job.
mikedamico6 0
hit her in the nuts :P
Cute_raver_ 0
yea 100% karma dude :/
me215555 0
Major BS a boss wouldn't do that she would get fired!