Today, at work I was talking to a co-worker about what a slacker my manager was, and how all she did was stand around and talk. She was standing behind me the whole time. I now have sore nuts due to a direct hit from a broom handle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML
Today, it was a really slow day at work. One thing lead to another, and soon enough we were all taking turns shoving each other across the office on a swivel chair. Our boss came in during my turn, and I got singled out for a verbal warning. Everyone else got off with a disapproving glare. FML
Today, I was leaning over cleaning a table at work, when my pretty coworker came up behind me and slapped me on the butt. I was so startled that I slipped and smashed my face into the table. Now she can't look at me without laughing. FML
Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML
Today, a work colleague was trying to kill a fly that was buzzing around the place. I was about to go on my break, but was stopped because she missed the fly and accidentally whacked me in the balls in the process. By the time I didn’t feel sick anymore, my break was over. FML
Today, at my new job, a coworker offered to help me mop the floors since she wasn't busy. I ended up getting written up by my boss for supposedly being too lazy and making other people finish my work. FML
Today, I was carrying a stack of paperwork at work, when my pen rolled off and onto the floor. As soon as I bent down to pick it up, a nearby co-worker, who's always hated me, accused me of putting on a show and sexually harassing him. He actually followed up by reporting me to HR. FML
Today, at work at a store, I was sitting on the floor stocking a bottom shelf. A woman in a motorized cart did not see me, and ran over my hand. When I alerted her about what she had done she laughed. FML
Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML
Today, I was at work, when I got bored and started spinning around in my chair for a little fun. As I was spinning, I went to grab my phone. I missed and sent my phone flying, hitting my coworker in the face. My boss witnessed the whole thing. FML
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Top comments
raider27 7
Can't she get into trouble for hitting a co-worker?
BIEBERSLAYER 10
Your manager sounds like a real ball buster to me
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Comments (153)
MasalaPeanut 3
Excuse me? Are people actually talking about Suing over here? How about "OP you're lucky you didn't lose your job because not only were you bitching about your manager but ironically at that moment you were the prick standing around and talking." Also, I'm pretty sure this is an exaggeration. Unless the man was writhing in pain on the floor this isn't even a valid FML, let alone a lawsuit. Get over it, OP.
ohlordy101 0
Uh she can be fired in a heart beat for that no joke ... That's no reason for hitting a dude there. I've seen guys throw up from being hit so hard I don't find it funny cause she prolly is a little lazy prick
sw1mm3r66 1
Report that bitch get her fired!!
Nitial 6
Turns out your boss does do something.
XScarlet 4
You're lucky she didn't fire you instead. Suck it up!
linnie_wesker 20
That's why you don't gossip at work. One of my managers literally spends her entire shifts cooking and eating (I work at a restaurant) and if you ask her for something she flips a shit, but I wouldn't dare talk shit about her.
Frogs4Me 0
Hey, that's harassment. I'd go see an Attorney if I were you.
mdewitt80 1
that's what you get for talking shit
crystalrain17 14
See, she does more than talk! YDI
circsmonky 4
ummm. that's physical violence to you inflicted by your superior. get a lawyer and sue. not fml you gonna get paid.