Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him about two minutes after, and he'd already fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message while we were having sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML
Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML
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Top comments
monkeyspark 6
I'd kick his ass.
Intoxicunt 6
He sounds like an ass. I'm not some anti-drinking, self-righteous bitch, but he just sounds like an idiot. Get over him. Go have fun.
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Comments (64)
monkeyspark 6
I'd kick his ass.
tyhillman 0
Why would you answer the phone in the first place?
toaster468 0
half life pwns
rawrlily 0
so he was your EX boyfriend???
oogyboogy 6
If he has ever gotten drunk he doesn't deserve you
LordKoin772 0
Shut up #2
djb23 0
The fact that he's drunk dialing you at 1 am shows that he doesn't have any respect for you anyway, you deserve someone better and are definitely better off without him.
evangldbrg 0
YDI for not being a lesbian
tapesculpture 0
lmfao win
fckinbowdown 0
you should **** his best friend
Intoxicunt 6
He sounds like an ass. I'm not some anti-drinking, self-righteous bitch, but he just sounds like an idiot. Get over him. Go have fun.
kitkatkelly 0
Now that's one organized chap. Classy, too.
irishdancer 0
Aww... That sucks. I'm sorry. Certain guys can be jerks sometimes.
meowalexx 0
Well, he wouldn't be your boyfriend anymore if he had already broken up with you, right?
bs82407 0
haha i was wonderin if anyone else would ****** notice that.
shootingstar8D 0
Your better off without him
Acceleration995 0
at least you know its really over
OMGitsKaleyxo 0
wow dickwad.