Today, I was on a flight coming back home. On my right was a fat monk who was snoring very loudly, and on my left there were two old women who were talking about their teenage love lives in detail. The flight was 17 hours long. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I waited to fly home, a very attractive woman smiled and gestured towards the seat next to me. However, a hyperactive child and his mother barged past into said empty seats. The woman really hit it off with the guy behind, while I was stuck listening to a kid scream at Angry Birds. FML
Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML
Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML
Today, I was on a plane heading home from vacation with the family, when went to relieve my bladder and stepped on someone's shit. They seemingly decided the floor was a better then the toilet. I walked all the way back to my seat with shit on my sandal, my sister thought I'd shat myself. FML
Today, I got on the bus to go to work. I managed to get a seat, but an old lady who looked tired had to stand. I offered her my seat, but she glared at me, frowned and said, "Go fuck yourself." Everyone laughed as I sat there in dismay. FML
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML
Today, I got back from camp. My camp-mates? A girl who refused to shower the entire week, a girl who threatened to hurt me several times, a snorer, my princess of a sister who took forever in the mornings, and a counselor who watched us sleep. FML
Today, I saw the girl I had confessed my love to two years ago on the bus. We chatted for a few minutes and she got off on the first stop, saying that this is where she had to get off. Twenty minutes later, I see her in the bus next to mine. The bus number was 20. Like mine. FML
Today, I woke up from the most satisfying dream I've ever experienced. Sex related? Nah. I just needed two hands to pull a massive booger from my left nostril. FML
Today, I was dumped. I ran home and cried and ranted on and on to my mother. After about 10 minutes of talking, she threw a book at my face and said, "No wonder he dumped you! You can't shut up!" FML
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Top comments
Jake221 0
I feel sorry for you :(. Thats what Ipods are for. FYL.
flinkpamingo 0
You should have listened to the older women. You might have learned something.
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Comments (77)
Jake221 0
I feel sorry for you :(. Thats what Ipods are for. FYL.
Antivirus_fml 0
Yeah, & Nowadays all cellphones can play music.
BlueJeans2626 0
where the hell were you going that the flight was 17 hours?
xGet_Over_It 0
she was probably going to the other side of the world because my flight from the philippines to the US was 17-19 hours long.
mimid_fml 1
there are lots of flights more than 17 hours smart one
art_of_troll 0
Name 5 biiitch
Pandasaur 0
Eek, you didn't have any music or anything? D: Well, at least you'll know to bring along something to listen to next time. FYL.
Neferria 0
Ouch, that sucks. An mp3 player is your best friend for those types of flights.
Intoxicunt 6
If flights were meant to be fun, there would be drinks, music, and hot young singles aboard. Sorry to hear that, but get used to it if you fly often. At least your kid didn't projectile vomit on you and your laptop.
crack_aint_whack 0
Every flight I have been on had music and vodka. I almost never manage to get flights with hot single people though.
Intoxicunt 6
I haven't been on one, but a lot of my family has. It sounded awful. No alcohol or decent food. But then, they were shorter than 17 hours, so that may have had something to do with it.
kewlcat 0
you've never been on a plane?!
Squadoosh 0
I went to Spain a few years ago, the flight took about 16-17 hours combined. So I know what the OP went through with flight time. But luckily, I was with friends and sat with them, so there were no annoying people. The whole flight took a total of about a day because of waiting in NY for the next plane.
Intoxicunt 6
Haha, no. I'm 17. I haven't been out of "the south", except Florida, which I don't count as "the south" even though it is "southern". I won't be on a plane until I turn 21. They're expensive.
GrahamAker 3
Uhmmmm blame the economy? Planes aren't expensive and if I can afford to go on trips on panera bread salarey as a kid I feel bad for you. Then again I lied with my parents soo.
tina_xox 0
ahhaha lol u should of listen to ur Ipod or watched t.v lol
crack_aint_whack 0
Hahaha at least they were talking about something interesting. BTW if you really couldn't stand it, you should have gotten headphones.
kitkatkelly 0
Earplugs. Tiny foam miracles for about $1.
shootingstar8D 0
Be grateful and make bad things positive. :) Atleast you had a flight back, there's people who are too poor to afford it.
greenburbon 0
so funny. i would have blasted some music! lol..but at least ur flight was interesting lol
Nothingtown 0
Laptop with at least one extra battery, iPod and another iPod. Then you're set for a 17 hour flight!