Today, at around 1 am, my boyfriend drunk-dialed and broke up with me. He didn't seem to remember he had already broken up with me yesterday. Thanks for reminding me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I called him about two minutes after, and he'd already fallen asleep. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML
Today, my boyfriend called me to break up with me. Immediately after we hung up, I started crying hysterically. I thought I dialed my best friend, and as soon as the line picked up, I yelled, "That motherfucker broke up with me!" My now ex-boyfriend replied, "Yeah, I know I did." FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by rapping in a voicemail. FML
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text saying to call him. When I did, it went straight to voicemail. It was a recording of him breaking up with me. He broke up with me over the phone, without even talking to me. FML
Today, I got a drunken call from my boyfriend, which consisted of him telling me that he, "does man things like fuck bitches and roll with hoes," and that I've been, "trying to turn him into a half-ass girly man," but, "that shit ain't right." Then he threw up. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I woke up to a text message from my boyfriend, breaking up with me. When I commented on his impeccably bad timing, he admitted he'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text message while we were having sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me via text, right after I finished cleaning his apartment and dropping off a bunch of booze I bought for a big party we were having. It turns out that big party was his "newly single" party. FML
Today, at four in the morning, I was asleep with my boyfriend beside me. I started yelling at him in my sleep and broke up with him. When I woke up, he was gone. FML
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Top comments
monkeyspark 6
I'd kick his ass.
Intoxicunt 6
He sounds like an ass. I'm not some anti-drinking, self-righteous bitch, but he just sounds like an idiot. Get over him. Go have fun.
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Comments (64)
coolcoolfool 0
what does OP stand for
brilliantbarbie 0
Original Poster :)
xxorganizedmess 0
Well, it would kind of kill the punchline had she said "my ex boyfriend," if you ask me. OP, FYL because he's an idiot.
xxorganizedmess 0
That was a reply to #7, I don't know why it's messing up but oh well.
aback 5
Call him up about 3am Monday to remind him.
Entity4Infinity 0
lesson number one... dont drunk dial someone or even get drunk for that matter... it never helps anything hes a jerk atleast you got rid of him now.
JohnyJackhammer 0
Hey, chin up. Break-ups always suck. The bright side is you don't have to date a jackass anymore. He didn't even have the courage to man up and do it sober until after he provided himself with the excuse of letting it out whilst drunk. Look, you're obviously a sane girl, with values and with your emotions intact since you came here for an outlet. That already makes you, without knowing anything else about you, a girl with some meaningful substance. That means you've got a very certain chance at finding someone better out there, given that you make the effort. So go out and do so. Good luck
MelanieBerrigan 0
That's actually really cute advice, way to be. :)
zephyrnok 9
You obviously needed to be reminded because you still called him your boyfriend.
mylyfesux98 3
lol truuuue! next level logic wabam!
Serix 0
#19, lmao you're so right!
deja54 0
You kidding?
failsatlife6 0
....you said he broke up with you yesterday, but stilled referred to him as your "boyfriend." somethings wrong with that sweetie.
tenkenshi 2
He was her boyfriend for the purpose of the FML to not give away the ending
flinkpamingo 0
Do you really want to date such a slow learner? I thought not.