Today, my wife got mad at me for buying Raisin Bran without almonds. I offered to add confectionery sliced almonds, which we already had at home. Her response, “That’s not the same thing.” It is exactly the same thing. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the only conversation I had with my mother where she didn't explode into a hissy fit was about peanut butter vs. almond butter. And even then she was starting to get mad at me. FML
Today, I returned home after a long day, and wanted a snack of the Deluxe Mixed nuts I purchased yesterday. The only thing in the container was almonds and peanuts. My husband admitted he sorted through the nuts then closed the container up so it looked like it had never been opened. FML, and maybe my husband too. FML
Today, my girlfriend is angry with me. We had an argument on how to properly eat an Oreo. FML
Today, my girlfriend viciously chewed me out for not taking a sandwich to work to save money. I don't have a problem with packing lunches, but the store-brand white bread she insists on buying is disgusting. She won't listen to me, and refuses to let me buy anything else. FML
Today, my mom complained that I never do anything nice for her, so while out shopping I bought her favorite chocolate bar. When I got home, she screamed at me because she’s on a diet. FML
Today, my wife picked an argument about me so-called being selfish because I buy myself sweets and certain drinks, and they make sit in the refrigerator for a long time. My stepson will then ask for them, and I say no. I just don’t believe in rewarding bad behavior. Plus it’s mine. FML
Today, I mentioned to my wife that we should try marriage counseling. She responded by denying it while throwing a carton of milk at me. FML
Today, a customer had an allergic reaction to the almonds in the sundae I made for her. We're supposed to put the almonds on unless the customer asks otherwise. She complained to my boss that I'd poisoned her. FML
Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML
Today, my wife is experiencing feral pregnancy cravings. She is craving some sort of cookie that she used to eat as a child. That particular cookie company went out of business 20 years ago, so my wife is growling at me like I was personally responsible for them shutting down. FML
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Top comments
RichardPencil 32
It's not. The almonds in the box have been soaking up the branniness for weeks or months. You ******' carpet-bagging almonds are unwelcome interlopers. Now, put on your big boy pants and get the right cereal this time!
Anderling 33
Also texture, probably. If raisin bran slices them one way and the confectionary almonds are sliced another that’s a whole different beast
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Comments (6)
SirEnigM0nk 22
That's sone unobtanium-grade density right there.
RichardPencil 32
It's not. The almonds in the box have been soaking up the branniness for weeks or months. You ******' carpet-bagging almonds are unwelcome interlopers. Now, put on your big boy pants and get the right cereal this time!
Anderling 33
Also texture, probably. If raisin bran slices them one way and the confectionary almonds are sliced another that’s a whole different beast
Davey Crocker 7
You might want to rethink your future with this woman.
CakeEater 15
It's not about "We can add almonds", it's that you didn't care enough to get the one she liked in the first place. Probably sitting right next to each other, and it doesn't taste the same. Welcome to married life
SJKatt 15
It's similar, but not "exactly the same thing" and it's important that you respect your wife's food preferences. This isn't her trying to change you or anything, this is her making a decision about her food choices and you fumbling the bag. She's allowed to be annoyed with that.