Today, after ten minutes of squishing my boobs together for my boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on my mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML
Today, I saw boobs, in person, for the first time. Too bad they were my mom's and I'm 27. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about how I'm self-conscious about my B-cup breasts. About 20 minutes later, he pointed to another girl with a small chest and said, "See, you're not the only one with small tits!" FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
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Top comments
Black_Gothic_101 0
i would have been like "well, go suck your momma's then, bitch" and just walk away. second!!
Glennbert 1
Time for a new boyfriend!
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Comments (101)
DynamicDave 11
I'd give an arm for a woman like you! :P
Anonnamus 0
Or your right hand? :p
lizzfawnduhh 0
why the **** are you with him when he obviously is a freak for talking and checking out his mom!
cartesianlogic 0
find a new boyfriend...
LaLaJuice 0
**** snickerdoodles bro..
roryriddle 5
YDI for being an attention *****
roryriddle 5
does grammar even matter?? ummm... no
guckylynn 19
19, actually since men don't have boobs they act like a little kid discovering them every time. And 44, you have no reason to talk to snick like that. She is neither ugly nor a bitch, so get over yourself and stop putting others down to make yourself feel less pathetic.
CallMeHush 1
I thing you should submit some pictures so this may be properly accessed.
CallMeHush 1
I also •think• I should find my glasses so I can spell check a little better.
Fedor_is_KING 0
Agree with CallMeHush. Also, OP are you dating a 27 yr old virgin by any chance? Think he showed up around here recently...
4toestatue 7
HAHAHAHAHA I love that guy!!!!