Anonymous
Australia
Today, I went on a date at the park. Have you ever felt dozens of ants swarming up your legs and back? I have now. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Brighton, United Kingdom
Nature finds a way
Today, I decided to take a nap in the park. I found a nice shady spot and closed my eyes. When I woke up, I realized I had fallen asleep on an ant hill. My entire body was riddled with ants. FML
my butt is lava
Custer, United States
Nature isn't healing
Today, I was on a nature hike and had to use the bushes as a restroom. In doing so I stepped on an ant hill and ended up with my shorts around my ankles, dancing the Twist to fend off the ants. FML
Juanna
United States
Cool moves
Today, I went on a blind date. We were walking in a park when I noticed a funny smell. I looked down and realized I'd stepped in dog crap. I tried to nonchalantly rub it off on the grass, but instead hit a patch of wet grass and slipped onto my butt, right into a pile of goose poop. FML
Mitchellbassists
Dayton, United States
Today, while mowing my backyard, I carelessly ran over a fire ant hill. Thousands of tiny stinging insects blowing towards you while you're wearing shorts and a t-shirt is definitely not fun. FML
fax4voice3
Greenwich, United States
The climate is whack
Today, it was an unusually warm day after many weeks of typical subfreezing temperatures, so my family and I went for a walk in the park. We all came back with mosquito bites. FML
santasadiekins
United States
Today, I was camping out under the stars on my trampoline. I was just about asleep when I felt a tickle on my arm. Figuring it was an ant, I brushed it off. The rest of the red ants crawling up my arm didn't like that. FML
YeahItsmecoolhuh
United Arab Emirates
Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML
lapines01
Today, I went on a date with this really cute guy. We were walking in a park and decided to go on the swings. As I was swinging super high up, I threw up. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
United States
High times
Today, I went on a date to the zoo. I soon found out that my date had eaten several hash brownies before entering. FML
Anonymous
Ideal first date
Today, I went on a date where the guy got drunk off 11 White Claws, I got 18 ant bites (yes, I counted), stung by a yellow jacket, and lost both pairs of our shoes. He told me he was going to a strip club after, messed up my name 3 times and didn’t pay for anything. FML
Top comments
dudeutookhrs 24
Did you do the ants in your pants dance?
aggiegirl95 7
Maybe they just thought you were something sweet! :)
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Comments (42)
aggiegirl95 7
Maybe they just thought you were something sweet! :)
MichaelDeSanta 20
That doesn't sound fANTastic.
i_wuz_nver_here 31
no
MichaelDeSanta 20
Yeah I had to try pretty hard for that one.
wanted_2_want 40
I bet he was itching in emotions..
lexiieeex3 32
Did this date involve rolling around in the dirt or something?
JMichael 26
Well you see when two people really like each other such things as rolling around in the dirt could happen.
MagnusDeus 24
Did you go to an insect preservation park?
dudeutookhrs 24
Did you do the ants in your pants dance?
pasupathymuthu 16
This is "Courtship", just the way nature intended.
writergirl1029 17
I mean...you do live in Australia.
Warmonger_Smurf 29
I'm not sure if you're lucky because there are a lot worse creepy crawlies in Australia. Or unlucky because ants are the size of cattle there.
Dawsonah 14
I cringed while reading this.
Mauskau 36
When my mum was younger, she was lying down on the grass and put her head on an ants nest. She's now terrified of ants after having the colony climbing through her hair.
hellnosucka 27
I bet that made you feel pretty antsy.