Today, after ten minutes of squishing my boobs together for my boyfriend, trying to get him to stare, he glanced at them then blankly said "I've seen better tits on my mom, so baby just stop that" and smiled. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML
Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML
Today, my boyfriend started talking to my breasts in public. As if that wasn't bad enough, he then started to jiggle them in his hands. FML
Today, I was having breakfast when my mom's boyfriend came and sat right across from me. He didn't try and hide the fact that he was staring at my chest and told me, "Wow, you're getting bigger." I glared at him. He winked at me. FML
Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML
Today, I saw boobs, in person, for the first time. Too bad they were my mom's and I'm 27. FML
Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about how I'm self-conscious about my B-cup breasts. About 20 minutes later, he pointed to another girl with a small chest and said, "See, you're not the only one with small tits!" FML
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my mom. The first thing my mom did was look at her breasts and mention that no matter what happens, hers were the first that I suckled on. FML
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Top comments
Black_Gothic_101 0
i would have been like "well, go suck your momma's then, bitch" and just walk away. second!!
Glennbert 1
Time for a new boyfriend!
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Comments (101)
visitor_fml 0
My god dickerdoodles... that post is rife with grammatical errors! You're supposed to be the grammar Nazi here?
Flamp1 0
Grab his bollocks and squeeze them together
brownlace 0
dump him
CyrusTheBlue 0
OP is a retard and so are the people telling her to dump him. You deserved it for being an attention *****. Contrary to popular belief: sex is not the only thing on a male's mind.
inuyashagirl 0
true that scary black man
Googolman 29
I agree with 39. It is really annoying when girls think they are so hot and sexy and they expect the guys to drop everything and drool over them. Also it is annoying when a girl thinks that everything a guy says is code for sex. We all need some space every once in a while, and these people don't give us any.
shamille 5
eww... but maybe you should've known I mean his name IS Oedipus...
ButterflyBaby 0
snickerdoodles, your ugly. and a bitch. you wouldn't know. take a hint :)
perdix 31
Maybe he doesn't just like you for your ****. Maybe he's your boyfriend because he loves your personality, your charm, your inner goodness and beauty. Maybe he loves you for your intellect, your soul and all that's uniquely you! Nah . . . he likes you for your ****.
alicia_was_here 3
you know, maybe it is her intellect. anyone who sits and squishes his/her own boobies for 10 minutes without realizing he/she is being ignored could be considered an intellectual in my book any day.
peacegirl345 0
YDI for having to squish your boobs together for him to stare! people who aren't even my boyfriend stare at mine and I don't have to do anything.
roryriddle 5
wow, full of yourself much?
honestlove11 0
yeah exactly, and who says you have to have small boobs to squish them? not that I do lol just sayin. I feel bad for girls with small boobs tho cuz people always point it out to them..
madskillz3088 0
sooo he looks at his mom's **** more then yours huh.. now I thinks it's time for you to meet his mom
Anonnamus 0
Ten minutes? It can't be your intelligence he admires. You must have a great ass.