Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Let down
Today, my boyfriend saw my boobs for the first time. His reaction was, "Well that's... disappointing". FML
Small comforts
Today, while having sex, my boyfriend admitted to having an affair. To comfort me, he said, "But you have bigger boobs, so you have nothing to worry about." FML
Boobies!
Today, I found out my boyfriend had bought me sexy lingerie for our anniversary. However, they're for for a bigger bust. When I asked if I could return it for the right size, he asked me to get a boob job to fit the bra instead. FML
Unwarranted
Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML
Today, I was depressed because my boobs are really small for a 20 year old woman. To make me feel better my boyfriend said, "As long as they're bigger than mine." They weren't. FML
Today, was the first time I had sex with a guy I really like. I took off my shirt and my bra and he said "wow, that's disappointing." FML
The big reveal
Today, I finally felt ready to take my bra off during sex. My breasts had "deflated" somewhat due to weight loss and I was really self-conscious about them, but my boyfriend insisted I was hot no matter what. When the bra came off, the dick got soft. FML
Today, my boyfriend started laughing during sex because my boobs are slightly different. He then broke up with me after I pointed out that his nuts aren't exactly even either. FML
Booby trap
Today, I saw my boyfriend after not seeing him for 7 months. During this time, I have lost a lot of weight and am proud of it. My boyfriend didn't say anything about the lost weight. When we were alone and things started to heat up, he took off my bra and said, "I think your tits are smaller." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend about how I'm self-conscious about my B-cup breasts. About 20 minutes later, he pointed to another girl with a small chest and said, "See, you're not the only one with small tits!" FML
Top comments
doodlecloud 27
Well, were you wearing a ridiculous push-up bra with a ton of padding? If so, can't really blame him for being surprised. If not and he's just really bad at judging size then that sucks...I'm betting it's more the former though.
vanity113 9
You should have put your hand down his pants and reciprocated the favour.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (88)
icetea4life 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Lol
oj101 33
Such an insightful response. I must thank you for bestowing your pearl of wisdom upon the FML community.
jatinbhanot 6
Looks like written by Sheldon Cooper himself! :D
spekledworf 18
Not as bad as "first!" but still a terrible misuse of this one in a lifetime opportunity
ZeusBeDubsteppin 24
it IS funny. should just be comfortable with yourself instead of wearing super-padded push up bras.
doodlecloud 27
Well, were you wearing a ridiculous push-up bra with a ton of padding? If so, can't really blame him for being surprised. If not and he's just really bad at judging size then that sucks...I'm betting it's more the former though.
VeganVampyre 27
Even if he's bad at judging size, how much difference would a non padded bra and one or two thin layers of clothes really make? He still shouldn't have thought she was that much bigger then she really was. So yeah, I'm going with the "ridiculous push-up" theory.
doodlecloud 27
Eh, I was just trying to give OP some shred of benefit of doubt...
Ameel_fml 19
But padded bras make my boobs look so nice. And they keep my boobs warm in Winter :D
interesting33 37
It shouldn't matter too much - all sizes are beautiful I think.. I mean he isn't with you for your breast is he?
Matt_greener 8
Nothing wrong with being a part of the itty bitty titty committee.
jatinbhanot 6
"itty bitty titty".. nailed it bro!
HiIAmKevin 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
"You know what they say about girls with itty bitty *******! They have tight little kitties!" -Rodney Carrington On the other hand, you shouldn't false advertise. That's not cool even though it makes great eye candy. Sorry OP.
Enzi_fml 21
"False advertising" ... as if it's something she's selling, correct? I don't really understand why it matters, if a guy only wants you for your **** then he can't be a very good partner. Besides, maybe girls wear pushup bras so they like how they look, not so it looks good for other people.
spekledworf 18
Guys false advertise too, like when they keep magnums in their wallets... And get your hopes up...
abitofsteve 4
Bad form for a gentleman, regardless.
mallu86 9
No he's a magician. He made them disappear.
HiIAmKevin 8
104- You do realize you can "advertise" without "selling" anything right? Last I checked advertising never meant you had to sell a product too. I said those words because she's advertising a nice and big rack, but when the bra was taken out of the equation the guy was misled about what the product actually is.
HiIAmKevin 8
Also, I'm not saying that girls are the only one who "false advertise". I'm just speaking of the FML and not the population in general.
charvisioku 22
Can't win these days... got really small boobs? "Oi, ironing board! Pancake! Satsuma ****!" Get a boob job? "Urgh look, she has fake boobs. That's disgusting" Wear a push-up bra? "False advertising!" I feel really bad for girls with small boobs who aren't comfortable with their shape - it's a tough crowd out there.
doodlecloud 27
129 - The difference is that the guys that think the former are jerks whereas the guys that think the latter just want a girl who's not half plastic and has enough self-confidence that they don't listen to the former guys. So really, the decision isn't that difficult.
WrongRomance 11
I have small boobs and I don't even care. I used to get teased about it. One chick was talking in class about how it hurts to get hit in the boobs, and I was like "Oh yeah, that really does hurt!" and she turned around and was like "How would YOU know?" and laughed. But it's whatever. Luckily the guys that I'm attracted to do NOT like big boobs. Or anything over a B cup. It's not common, but those guys are out there. Small boobs are more convenient anyway. IBTC unite!
londoner86 13
I'm stunned at how many up votes this got, and secondly "HiIAmKevin" - WOW. Your mama didn't teach you right. You aren't 'buying' anything, nor is a girl 'selling' or 'advertising' - unless you're doing it with hookers or you have zero respect for the women you have sex with... No woman is obliged to accurately showcase her **** for your benefit. Girls: if you ever hear a guy talk like this, have the self respect not to go near him.
HiIAmKevin 8
147- if you're going to wear a push-up bra and/or a padded bra to make your boobs look bigger what's the reason behind it? To get guys to look at you. If you're going to display those things all pushed up and bigger than what they are, then you are advertising. I never said they had to "accurately showcase her ****" for my benefit. I don't go around looking at every pair of breasts I see.
HiIAmKevin 8
I could go on, but it's mid afternoon and all the girls are shopping. So, I have to go tell each one if they're false advertising or not.
citygirl28 11
save your breath #147, anyone that describes a woman's body as a "product" ain't worth teaching ;) And OP, a good guy will show you more respect, find one (Now wait for guys to thumb me down)
londoner86 13
aw thanks citygirl!!! :) Yeah "product" - exactly.
bamagrl410 31
As a girl I can't deny that I've worn a push-up bra before to impress someone. Every girl on here acting like no one ever tries to show off their boobs or make them look better is in denial or just oblivious. I don't think he meant that every girl is guilty of it all the time, just that it does happen. We'd all like to believe that guys aren't dating us just for our bodies, but lets be honest - it's not like he's never noticed anything other than your brains & personality. Finding a mate you consider attractive is natural, and often times people do judge others heavily on their physical appearance. Just because it may not be the most important factor to him or he's never said anything before doesn't mean your physical appearance isn't something he considered. Girls know that, and we occasionally make attempts to impress.
doodlecloud 27
152 - I get what you're saying but do you not think there is a difference between simply dressing to impress and dressing to make you look like something you're not?
HiIAmKevin 8
At least 152 is an honest speaking woman. And I realize everyone is starting to make me seem like a feminist. You suck.
doodlecloud 27
154 - What's that supposed to mean? Do you think the other women in this conversation are lying about their thoughts and experiences then? I am aware that, generally, girls want to make themselves look good for guys and I don't actually think there's anything wrong with that. I doubt any of the girls posting here are in denial about that. It is possibile to be for wanting to attract guys and still against 'false advertising' as you describe it. The two are not mutually exclusive.
bamagrl410 31
There's a difference, but the line can be easily blurred when a girl trying to impress someone wears a ridiculously padded bra & therefore displays something she isn't. When I went into Victoria's Secret recently, they have a "bombshell" bra that's "guaranteed to add 2 cup sizes". I just looked at it & thought to myself "Why would you ever want to do that?" But maybe that's just my way of thinking because I've never needed to. Anyways, usually when a girl wants to wear a push-up bra, it's to impress a guy or even just other people in general. They care about looks because they know that people will be looking. If they didn't think people would notice or look, they probably wouldn't bother. And displaying something that you essentially want other people to look at is advertising in a basic sense of the word. Advertising - "the action of calling something to the attention of the public". It doesn't necessarily mean she's trying to "sell" anything or that her body is a product, as people have unfortunately taken it to mean; just that she's displaying something openly to the public. People just need to calm down a little.
doodlecloud 27
Oh I completely agree about the advertising thing - think some people earlier tried to be too politically correct and got confused but I was on HilAmKevin's side then. But, I don't think wearing a +2 cup size is 'blurring the line'...I think it is definitely crossing the line lol
Enzi_fml 21
Yes I'm aware that you can advertise something without actually selling it, but you're completely missing the point. What I'm saying is why the **** does it matter if a girl's boobs aren't as big as you thought they were?
Glitter_taco_ 10
That's why I wear them! Lol
EVnIAS 13
My though would have been don't care still saw boobs
Damian95 16
Seriously who takes the time to judge hair, makeup, eyes, and such at a time like that?
Wimoweh 10
And he was about to have sex too! What was he thinking? Silly boy. Silly silly.
BobbieH 19
He judged her boobs, not make up or other attributes. Given this was their first time it was probably his first opportunity to evaluate them. He should have used his inner monologue, true, but it is the time to judge the boob situation. Not being a boob man, they're all good to me but maybe he is a boob man and was disappointed by the lie perpetrated with the bra.
thisiscool19 14
same lol at least she still has some
kidclarke 15
Don't think that's someone I'd want to have sex with for the first time. Lol.
CharresBarkrey 16
Sounds like it was her first time with him, not in general.
londoner86 13
I agree, and makes no difference to my comment......
Bano360 25
Some people need to develop a sense of humour. If you know the meme, then it's funny.
dathan 14
If you have to know a meme to get it, what does it have to do with developing humour?
vanity113 9
You should have put your hand down his pants and reciprocated the favour.
thewife5 19
I wanted to like this comment, but it has 69 likes already and that seems appropriate.
Pauline96_fml 20
#81 I think 99 comments would be more appropriate
oj101 33
Tell him the same thing about his penis. *ba dum tsss*
MisterMichael 9
What if he has like a nine inch shlong?
oj101 33
#23 - In that case, OP could tell him she had bigger and better.
spekledworf 18
It's all about the girth, not length. And imo anything over 8" is just painful
Ashamed_Sister 60
Make the same joke about his penis and he will realise what he has done to you.
SpamPam 18
Here here! Op's bf probably doesn't realize how hurtful that comment was. Putting it that way should hopefully put some perspective on receiving a comment like that
IneededAName99 5
Girls just need to toughen up, jeez. They're boobs, I see responses about dumping him, and trying to make him feel worse. Why not just accept they're small? I tease my girlfriend all the time about her A cups, and she doesn't cry, feel bad, ect. She knows it's just for fun and I couldn't care less what cup size she is..
Alicestraza 33
The guy in the fml obviously did care what her cup size was otherwise he wouldn't have said something, especially hurtful. Your situation and OPs situation isn't the same, I bet you wouldn't have said that the first time you and your gf had sex.
Talooka 10
Ouch, that guy's an insensitive jerk, no offense.
VeganVampyre 27
Not necessarily. If she's always wearing those "double push ups" that make you look 2 cups sizes larger, then it's her own fault that he thought she was bigger. And I'm thinking that was probably the case, because I don't know any type of clothes that would make your boobs look "much larger" unless there was a push up bra under them.
SpamPam 18
You know the more a guy chases girls with large breasts the more likely he will run into that "false advertising" it just comes with the risk and I don't think guys should throw baby tantrums when they do run into it. If you really love the person you are with it should not matter.
londoner86 13
I feel for you OP, it's tough. Don't go out with jerks and don't sleep with someone until they care about you so much they wouldn't dream of saying anything like that. And as you get older you'll hopefully get more confident about your body anyway, less need for overly-enhancing underwear.
EVnIAS 13
I don't think any woman should sleep with a man until she know that he isn't just with her for sex or her body. Guys should never try to force girls before they are ready and should always respect them.
dinosxxrawr 22
he saw boob. that should count for something.