Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML
Today, my apartment was flooded due to a broken pipe, which caused a huge family of cockroaches to disperse. Did you know they can fly? FML
Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML
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Top comments
pam241 15
I think I just threw up
confusedAsFuck 34
Extra protein mate.
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Comments (98)
lbanks_fml 10
Wait.....so the roach got in the poison, then...in your mouth?? Do ya see the problem here?
Dakmoa 6
Is it weird that I want to try this now?
Tyyeezyjr 13
Move tf outta there!!!
youngboob 5
they live in electronics, and dressers. they would just move with me.
kirigaiku 15
Did you wake like that? Or were you just talking or something and then it flew to your mouth?
youngboob 5
i was awoken by it
fivetimeslonger 24
Seriously, though, bay leaves and borax powder (as long as you don't have pets you'd like to keep) worked for a friend of mine. Her apartment in college was terrifying & she was stuck in it for a year. Hers ended up being the only one the roaches stayed out of because she had the powder and leaves all around the baseboards/doors/vents. Best of luck to you!
xxcaitlannxx 15
This is the funniest shit ever holy shit but I'm sorry op. I'll favorite this one in return.
HinaxNaru 12
I'm so sorry D; nastyy
redstone7693 29
time to move out maybe?
Rainbow_dumpster 28
GROSS!!!
noreallywhat 17
sounds to me more like they are fighting back