Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML
Today, after going on a fly-killing spree all around my house, I had the most ridiculous nightmare where I was terrorized by a fly that looked like it was having a seizure whenever it was flying. When it landed on my arm, I woke up and felt a strange sensation on my arm. Great, I didn't want to sleep anyway. FML
Today, I woke up to a huge, disgusting bug next to my bed. As I tried to squish it, it suddenly flew off at high speed. Now I'm lying in bed, awake and terrified because I can hear it buzzing around but can't see it anywhere. FML
Today, I woke up by inhaling a fly up my nose, and feeling it twitching and slowly dying inside my nasal cavity. FML
Today, I walked into my son's room only to be attacked by a swarm of flies. I'm afraid to go back in there. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML
Today, I woke up this morning and there was suddenly dozens of flies all around the house, so I put up fly ribbons to deal with them. Within three hours, every inch of every single one of those ribbons was covered in dead flies, and there were still more flying about. I don't have any more to put up. Uh oh… FML
Today, a fly landed on my face. Before I could even react, my brother "helpfully" punched it hard enough to both kill the fly and knock me out. FML
Today, I put up one of those hanging fly catchers in my room due to the unsettling amount of flies in the house. I remarked how stupid flies were to land on them. Within an hour, I got up and walked straight into it. FML
Today, I realized why my sister refuses to let me clean her side of the room. She's secretly been trying to revive dead ants. FML
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Top comments
ajilon7 17
I feel bad for laughing...
Chiroptera_Man 10
I guess those ants are a real buzzkill :3
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Comments (80)
ajilon7 17
I feel bad for laughing...
Noelletakumi 36
F the fly's life...
sonshadsil94 15
sounds like the ants already did
BornActor 8
That's horrible. I would have screamed like that as well. To have that as your first sight as you woke up. Wow.
Ravike 17
I think you're fml profile is being hacked by your gf or a friend..
foxwasalamb 24
sexist much 19?
JBChristian 47
Even if he were sexist, who said it's a bad thing?
spatula232 25
Men don't have to be macho all the time...
z3r0d4z3 22
@19 Men can be hackers also. (slinks back to the garage, where I aparently belong)
Ravike 17
#31 spare me but i dont see why someone has to scream after seeing a bunch of ants, I can only imagine that someone trolled him using his account #52 keep reading until you get what I meant :)
ChristianH39 30
19 I think your FML profile is being hacked by a douchebag
Ravike 17
#65 least the douchebag got a point, screaming for a snake or some other poisonous animal is okay but for ants?
squideth 18
Snakes are venomous, not poisonous. And no, the douchebag DOES NOT have a point, other than pointing out how insecure and judgmental he is.
Ravike 17
Difference between venomous and poisonous is how the toxin is being delivered but okay my bad, hypothetically maybe the douchebag is judgemental but insecure how?
ChristianH39 30
Generally being overly judgmental/critical is a sign of low self esteem. Those types of people feel the need to put others down to help them cope with their own lack of a sense of self worth. Not to mention the obvious douchiness of judging others.
Ravike 17
Still i dont see why anyone would have to scream that much for household ants, if it were army ants then yea anyone would freaked out. Household ants are hardly dangerous.
Ravike 17
Plus #74 you're a hypocrite, I'm judging him for being scared of household ants and you're judging me for judging him it's only logical.
SoapTurtle 7
ew thats nasty
ahippienamedrae 10
Tell me I'm not the only one who read this in Cleveland Brown's voice
Daniel589 7
Trust me you're not lol
Chiroptera_Man 10
I guess those ants are a real buzzkill :3
gracehi 33
*Ba Dum Tsss*
cakefete2 31
OP, you should ant-icipate the insect puns now so they don't bug you later.
NeatNit 33
buzz off, ant nobody got time for that!
emily4040 18
I would scream too.
hufflepuffle 13
I really like your face in your profile pictures.
ethan_unoxx 29
the same thing happened to me.
Zyde 12
The ants go marching 1 by 1 hoorah hoorah...
mylyfesuksDB 9
Poo
amymasterson93 2
naaaaaasty!
pjsr 33
The ants go marching two by two hoorah hoorah...