Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML
Today, my apartment was flooded due to a broken pipe, which caused a huge family of cockroaches to disperse. Did you know they can fly? FML
Today, my Dad and I killed a cockroach with a large metal pole. It was the most bonding experience we have ever had. FML
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I woke up to the sight of a dead fly on my bedside table, being eaten by a swarm of ants. I screamed so bad that my dad said he thought my sister was being murdered in my room. FML
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Top comments
pam241 15
I think I just threw up
confusedAsFuck 34
Extra protein mate.
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Comments (98)
pam241 15
I think I just threw up
DrewBob9623 10
You think you threw up? Wouldnt you be able to tell? And for the people who will say something. YES ITS SARCASM
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
filth.
soulangelnowings 10
I believe I just did .
sweetbliss3 37
Right. I would have died. they're nasty little things. *shudders*
randompizzaguy 17
Not being able to discern whether you've vomited or not is quite an issue, FYL #1, FYL.
pam241 15
#53 it was sarcasm dipshit
randompizzaguy 17
#60 As was mine, I apologize for assuming you'd be able to understand...
pam241 15
I did understand. but that's what happens when you comment on another person's comment. DEAL WITH IT
meli1195 31
well someone is an angry little troll
leaper66 12
FYL...
Soviet_American 29
I've got to ask, why are you still there!?!? That'd be horrible! But! Look at it this way, at least they're not spiders.
figgit70 7
I'd rather have spiders, they might help with the roach problem
concend_blk_guy 8
The average person swallows 10 spiders a year, of course they're baby spiders or just really small. Spiders like warm damp places, spiders make sense, roaches with their feelers and hairy legs, the way the move, the wings. . . I shutter to think of it, I feel so sorry for OP
orbit 22
Since when did roaches grow wings??? That's it, we're ******.
dragonkisses28 25
#57...I was doing absolutely fine without that little bit of spider trivia. #58...Yes, some roaches have wings. Here in Texas they have no fear. If you hit it and don't kill it, it's going to fly right at your face. OP...that is nasty. FYL indeed.
orbit 22
I'm sorry but we may have to quarantine Texas and surrounding states until we find a way so get rid of these horrid fellows.
slyde32 12
we have them in Australia, too, winged ones I mean. one flew at my face with out me attacking it
Gaernem 17
Yeah we have winged ones in Florida too. It's the same deal, my buddy tried to hit and kill it, it didn't die.. Then flew directly at his head.
orbit 22
****...Alaska here I come.
confusedAsFuck 34
Extra protein mate.
Garrett2818 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
EBOLA!!!! Haha but seriously that's ****** nasty
sweetbliss3 37
and what does ebola have to do with roaches? not even in the same category, bro.
sayyestothedress 24
What does Ebola have to do with cockroaches! I find people like #4 so annoying!
Garrett2818 21
I'm surprised no one caught on that I was joking. Hence the "but seriously"
tantanpanda 26
uh, people caught on, but it was so stupid, people couldn't help but downvote. Like the other person said, ebola is in a completely different category. Trying to make a joke by bridging ebola with a cockroach really doesn't work. Joke or not, it sucked.
orbit 22
Well for all we know a cockroach could be carrying Ebola
Garrett2818 21
Well I though it was funny but I see no one shares my sense of humor or lack there of.
LittleBells 17
#4, you must have the humor of a middle school boy, if you thought that was funny.
onlychildFTW 34
Middle school? That's more elementary school level.
Garrett2818 21
I'll take someone with an immature sense of humor over someone who's an uptight D-bag any day.
slyde32 12
I dunno, I thought #72's comment had more humour than your ebola joke
mat_sib 18
We got the joke it just wasnt funny
sammiixoxo 12
That's nasty. Sorry op :/
ThongWarrior 17
All of my prayers shall be dedicated to you, you poor soul
dimerneckel 22
They are trying to reenact the happening by M Night Shmayalan.
wRIPPERw 23
But can they drive a jeep?
DrewBob9623 10
Nukes wont even kill roaches. Looks like you gotta curb stomp everyone of those little bastards back to hell!
PenguinBitch 44
Yes they do.
cinskeep43 15
the blast will kill them. the radiation wont
DrewBob9623 10
Thx for going myth busters on me. I really needed you to clarify that a ******* nuke would kill a cockroach.
Texasblackboots 16
Damn bro time to bring out the WD-40 and a lighter and go Rambo on their ass
BubbleGrunge 18
I learned a long time ago a whole can of Woolite suffocates the bastards.
Meettitan 14
Hit them with a can of duster turned upside down. The C02 is at subzero temperatures, and will make the roach's cells expand and rupture; killing them instantly. Also, no risk of a house fire.
PresidentNorth 16
Yay chemistry! annihilating roaches since day 1.
darwinism 30
Keep it in your mouth as a warning to others not to go there. FYL
til_niagaraxfall 10
#12 for president 2016