Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML
Today, after threatening my son for weeks that if he didn't clean his room, I would, I went in, equipped with a garbage bag, ready to throw away everything I found, only to discover dozens of empty bottles, two partially empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, and cockroaches. FML
Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
Today, I walked into my son's room only to be attacked by a swarm of flies. I'm afraid to go back in there. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML
Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML
Today, I had mice in the house and had to kill them with mousetraps. I pulled a trap out with a dead mouse and my four year-old son saw. Mice are his favorite animals, and now he won’t speak to me. FML
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Top comments
Welshite 40
A completely logical response. Last time I saw a cockroach I torched the place. Sure, it was my neighbor's house, but I'm sure he appreciated the gesture. Washing everything isn't as effective, but it works.
Tarlachia 33
Next time, tell him to go sleep on the couch, and you both won't sacrifice sleep.
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Comments (40)
Tarlachia 33
Next time, tell him to go sleep on the couch, and you both won't sacrifice sleep.
Comrox 19
OP's son might be very young, in which case I wouldn't advise simply telling him to sleep on the couch. That's a little cold to tell a little kid IMO.
Welshite 40
There's nothing wrong with kids sleeping on couches. Heck, I make my kids sleep on piles of rags in the basement, and they seem mostly alright. I even give them blankets sometimes.
Tarlachia 33
That's why a parent can put down cushions/pillows/blankets to protect the child should they roll off the couch. At least they'll fall into a soft area. But, then the child can still sleep and the mother as well.
HollyQuinn 21
This is why I'm never having kids.
Tripartita 45
*HollyQuinn locks eyes with her partner, smiling slightly with concern in her eyes* "Look, you know how much I love you, and I've hinted at it before, but… ugh, how do I put this best? You see, when it comes to having kids… there's this FML—" "The cockroach one?!" "Yeah! Well, one of the cockroach ones." "Say no more. I'm not looking to have kids either."
mattyiscool123 26
That's the negative aspect of it
chocolateteacup 25
Can't blame him
heatherrr17 19
How old is he?
Welshite 40
A completely logical response. Last time I saw a cockroach I torched the place. Sure, it was my neighbor's house, but I'm sure he appreciated the gesture. Washing everything isn't as effective, but it works.
Kitcat1234 21
So that's why I came home to ashes instead of a house. Sorry about bringing you to court then, buddy, I didn't realize there was a cockroach
Wishe 17
This makes total sense to me.
__justayy 12
Doesn't he have more than one set of sheets ?
thinkaboutit5 17
And you'd want to sleep on sheets after cockroaches have crawled on them? Cockroaches aren't exactly sanitary. But in all honesty, letting him sleep on the couch would have solved the issue for the night at least.
GTgt_fml 13
Poor kid :( Hopefully that means he'll be a cleanly guy when he's older.
OneShotOfEstus94 7
well if there's one roach there more. PREPARE FOR WAR