Anonymous
🌶️ Spicy
Excitation morning
Today, while I was in bed, my cat licked my nipple. It turned me on. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
patronuscat?
Meow!
Today, I woke up in a guy's bed to one of his cats licking my nipples. FML
cdn_steed
United States
Today, at 5:30 in the morning while I was fast asleep, my cat decided the most threatening thing in my apartment that absolutely needed to be attacked was my left nipple. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, while playing with my cat, she decided to give me a surprise nipple piercing with her claws. FML
scratchpost
United States
Today, my cat woke me up by sharpening his claws on my breast. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend in my room. About two minutes into it, my cat walks in and jumps on the bed with us. Without hesitation, my girlfriend tells me to stop, rolls over, and starts petting my cat. FML
axwound
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML
pussnboots
United States 🌶️ Spicy
Surprise, wanker!
Today, as I was feeling frisky, I started to jack off. I was about to come when my cat attacked my hand and nether regions under the blanket. I really got the pussy, didn’t I? FML
Anonymous
Phoenix, United States
Smack my bitch up
Today, I got naked after coming home. It's super hot where I live and I wanted to cool down before getting dressed again. As I was standing there, minding my own business, the cat I'm pet-sitting for a friend reached up and clawed me on the vagina. FML
Robert Herrin
Kinky Crab
Today, I fell asleep with my hermit crab on my bed and woke up to him pinching my nipple. FML
Anonymous
Rise and shine
Today, my cat woke me up at 3 a.m. by jumping from the shelf and landing on my nutsack. FML
Top comments
Mungolikecandy 19
On the bright side now you know to stock the bedside cabinet with high grit sandpaper.
johnspa 6
I was gunna say get that pussy, but pussy got you 😽🤷🏿♂️
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Comments (15)
paranoidaf 7
I never WANT to do this, but i do, regularly.
manb91gb 15
You are aware you have a picture of yourself up right?
jbuckets_404 39
You're assuming that said profile pix is actually of her. There's no such guarantee per any of our profile pix here ie, that old axiom: "On the internet, nobody knows if you're a dog." (7-5-1993) [Wikipedia] Edit: [And no, I'm NOT calling her a dog ie, unattractive; she's cute!]
jbuckets_404 39
ParanoidAF, I do wish that I could up-vote your comment way more than just once. LOL! Edit: And no, I DIDN'T say that I could lick that for you if it's really a problem, right? So down-voters, STFU and let the adults in the room talk, ok?
johnspa 6
I was gunna say get that pussy, but pussy got you 😽🤷🏿♂️
jbuckets_404 39
Wait, what? We're in Russia now? [Reference comedian Yakov Smirnoff's routine if you don't get it.]
jbuckets_404 39
But are you a cat, too?
jbuckets_404 39
Sure hope that you didn't return the favor in any way.... ;-) LOL!
Ilmoran 20
So apparently you like it rough.
jbuckets_404 39
Hey - different strokes for different folks! (Or is that licks?) ;-) LOL! But yea, said feline tongues' ARE roughly textured....
Mungolikecandy 19
On the bright side now you know to stock the bedside cabinet with high grit sandpaper.
jbuckets_404 39
FYI: To everybody down-voting ANY comment on this pg, put down the phone & get a life - AND look for a sense of humor while you're at it, too. Sheesh!
Taurus_ChicKa 37
I don't think that's the kind of pussy you should be intimate with.
J15237 25
So just going to ask. Are you male or female? Its kind of interisting, but if it lead to getting turned on and enjoying some alone time then enjoy. If you are a guy well um okay then. If you are a female I hope it at least lead to a mind blowing ******. Not really a true FML.