Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after weeks of begging my boyfriend of almost two years to have sex with me, he told me to find someone else to fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
redmnky21 8
wow... how old are you... sounds like your way to young for sex
mookie24 2
How old is this guy? You shouldn't have to persuade anybody to have sex
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (290)
lfrye 6
I'm guessing you didn't have to ask if it was in?
EvilDave 13
@31: murdersquirrel , mou are not a guy, you are not qualified to make that call. Come back after you have spent the years between 10 and 40 years of age with testicles and then you can comment.
picturescrazy 24
Okay... so you had to persuade your boyfriend to have sex with you, he didn't cave until a year and a half, and he wasn't hard when he saw you naked? I think he might bat for the other team... not to be rude or anything, that's just odd.
glamorous18 10
you're just a ****.
KiddNYC1O 22
I say foreplay ftw.
the_true_batman 10
my first thoughts were the the same but opposite as #1 wow... how old are you... sounds like your way to old for sex if you need to lube your ******
lollipopcicle 6
ydi
writergirl69 0
#31 thank you!
br0ccoli 15
Be supportive! You had to coax him after 18 months so obviously it means something to him that he is sharing his body. Next time, use your feminine charm to warm him up and lubricate yourself in the process. Flaccid. Unlubricated. *shudders*
GlobalGenocide 8
Not to be rude but I have a feeling he's gay... 18 month relationship and you have to convince HIM to have sex and then he can't get it up...
Zomg_Okay 27
That is a really ignorant comment you've got there. Not every man is a sex-crazed lunatic who thinks of nothing else, you know. Plenty guys are perfectly happy to take it slow. It could be that he has been raised to wait until after marriage, or any of a number of reasons it took this long. If nothing else, I think OP is at fault for harassing him. She's been bugging him for a year when he clearly wasn't ready.
MrBoredomioo 18
yeah he's gay, I agree