Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Going well, isn't it
Today, after weeks of begging my boyfriend of almost two years to have sex with me, he told me to find someone else to fuck. FML
Waste
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
No gods, no masters
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Nope
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Noobs
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
Lost
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
You've tried this before, right?
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Bad sex ed
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Instructions
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
Top comments
redmnky21 8
wow... how old are you... sounds like your way to young for sex
mookie24 2
How old is this guy? You shouldn't have to persuade anybody to have sex
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Comments (290)
skyeyez9 25
I suspect he was raised in a overly religious household where sex and your nude body is shameful.
skyeyez9 25
Or he isn't sexually attracted to you? Either way, you should have a heart to heart discussion with him.
iamyummylicious 14
Or he's gay. Many possibilities, but the OP shouldn't force him to have sex with her. I guess the word "communication" isn't in her vocabulary.
akiahara 14
WTF... how old are you...
sandinthewaves 5
Use your mouth
hazelsun41311 0
First off, you don't "coax" someone into having sex. It happens when it happens. Second, you both must be too young to understand how sex works, therefore you shouldn't even be having it.
infectedsense 15
YDI for not teaching him how it's done before attempting it.
FightingCanuck 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Get a new boyfriend.. This one has a defect
annalily5 28
Get a new boyfriend, this one deserves better.
Luckyman22 5
If that's the way you really think I feel sorry for all the nice guys you've ****** up. This is the exact reason guys turn into assholes.
mookie24 2
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
It is her boyfriend people, you are suppose to have sex
Michaelsgirl04 9
No. If it were her husband then yes, sex would be expected. But not if it's just her boyfriend. I'm not saying she shouldn't want it (she'd be weird not to) but it shouldn't be expected
Michaelsgirl04 9
Profile says it's a man...which explains a lot.
biggerthanlife 0
Its like a pancakes and sausage. They dont go well together without some syrup.
rogerover 19
Baby steps! Work your way up to f¥
Jannettecooks 1
She used the word flaccid which makes me realize shes old enough to understand what's going on. What no one else mentioned was that said you were not ready either... Sounds like you need to move on. (maybe each of you to your own sex) and although it's been mentioned above... Never talk someone into sex. They either want it or they don't. When you find the right person you can't keep your hands off each other.
brock329 3
Amen!