Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after weeks of begging my boyfriend of almost two years to have sex with me, he told me to find someone else to fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
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Top comments
redmnky21 8
wow... how old are you... sounds like your way to young for sex
mookie24 2
How old is this guy? You shouldn't have to persuade anybody to have sex
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Comments (290)
shushu26 20
Ouch.
billreines 0
If it was flaccid he's gay and if your twat wasn't lubricated from the though of finally getting some with him you're a lesbian.
chazeola 4
Ummm idk what guy says no to having sex, especially when the girl is the one who brings it up. So he's probably gay...
damnu 3
Relationships are based on mutual attraction, so on the desire to have sex. That's how it works, sex is cement for the couple. 18months sexless relationship ? Sounds like ever impossible or a alibi relationship. Maybe you too are a little young to understand that, and if so, too young for putting yourself into that.
boopityboppity 11
Allow me to strike you down with the righteous hammer of thought. While the desire to have sex is a mutual attraction, not all such attractions are based on sex. Take friendships, for example. I haven't any desire to copulate with my friends, but there's an attraction between us, all the same. Similarly, romantic attractions, while usually including sexual facets, are often not primarily based on sex. Humans' range of emotions includes love, which is separate from desire. Many relationships have their foundation in that elusive emotion. On a personal note, I find your assertions repugnant, and they only prove that our gene pool is clearly in dire need of a bit of chlorine.
Jirekianu2 19
I'm guessing he's a virgin and/or he has pretty bad performance anxiety. Try to work on it and give him time to learn. Not everyone is instantly good in the sack.
Rainbow_Crash 11
Maybe...and this is just a shot in the dark...maybe he's not ready to have sex? Assuming that he's gay without even taking into account that he just may not be ready is a ridiculous notion. Believe it or not, not every man makes every decision with his balls as if he does not have a brain. If it were a man pressuring his lady friend into having sex, everyone would be all over this guy quicker than you can say "get him!". However, I don't necessarily believe in double standards, therefore I say that OP COMPLETELY deserved this. Next time, talk to him and get an understanding on how he feels before trying to coerce him to shove his swizzle stick into you. No one is supposed to coerce ANYONE into doing anything they don't want to do, and I reject the notion that people believe that they should.
islander03 5
It's just a hunch, but seeing as he needed to be persuaded to do it, he is clearly unsure how the procedure works and no one is aroused in any way or form, I say move on, this shall not work out due to the fact that you're too young or no one is sexually attracted to each other which will result in failure. But again, just a hunch
marziscrazy 6
Maybe he's too young to get boners
barleyguy 17
Figures I knew it had to be a southern American post with that kind of aversion to sex only happens to redneck Americans
BrownSugar10940 2
Tmi just tmi