Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after weeks of begging my boyfriend of almost two years to have sex with me, he told me to find someone else to fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
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Top comments
redmnky21 8
wow... how old are you... sounds like your way to young for sex
mookie24 2
How old is this guy? You shouldn't have to persuade anybody to have sex
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Comments (290)
xApollox17 0
How the hell is he going to get a boner when he doesn't even want to have sex?
groupleader 7
Sounds like love to me...neither of you turns the other one on.
knucklehead11 0
18 months? It's like -2 months for me lol
alicianoar 7
Minus more than a year. **** buddies ftw.
batman_516 9
DO YOU EVEN PLAY THIS GAME?!
momeydragon 0
This is the perfect example on why kids need sex education after 3rd grade nowadays..
Cynical_in_SK 6
Ok...if the guy hasn't had sex in 18 months...or possibly ever...then just the thought of doing it with you should have had him hard enough to break diamonds. If you were naked and he was still soft...then there's something seriously wrong. For that matter...if its been 18 months for you then shouldn't you have already been wet from anticipation?
Calyx_fml 22
Or maybe it's more simple than that. Maybe he's just not attracted to you. I'm sure most straight guys would not **** Andrea Dworkin if she was standing in front of them naked. I'd rather **** Tom Cruise than her and I'm pretty damn straight.
BaconBoy75 2
So, you've been trying to have sex with him six month in to dating? And it took a year for you to convince him?
pagullarka 9
Ladies quit trying to turn gay guys straight they will not change
Squit_fml 16
well sounds like he needs some practice then!