Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after weeks of begging my boyfriend of almost two years to have sex with me, he told me to find someone else to fuck. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML
Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML
Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML
Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML
Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML
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Top comments
redmnky21 8
wow... how old are you... sounds like your way to young for sex
mookie24 2
How old is this guy? You shouldn't have to persuade anybody to have sex
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Comments (290)
aliadnan708 6
U r an idiot for pursuing him to have sex
BarDownDaily 12
14- Irony.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Pursuing?
upyourzlolz 11
Yes. You see, this was actually a FML of rape, so of course OP was pursuing. Duh.
merritalstatus 3
He meant persuade
jwebster 8
I think just because you had I coax him this is called RAPE. BTW unless he is 12 he's gay. If he's 12 then you need jail time.
Michaelsgirl04 9
Not if she's 12 too...then she just needs some sense slapped into her.
Mariebaz 11
Maybe you need some "get an education past 5th grade" time. Rape is sex without consent. If she coaxed him into it, obviously he consented. Why would you ever call someone gay just for that? And she never, EVER insinuated that she was over 18.
ankoku 2
Technically any person(s) under the age of 18 can't legally give consent which ironically means they both raped each other!
Michaelsgirl04 9
Well I'm thinking they're probably both old enough to give concent considering how long they've been together. But in this day and age, who knows.
florido_fml 10
If he doesn't know how to have sex he's to young for you bro!
Torva_fml 16
That's pretty stupid. Go post that shit on Facebook, not fml.
SaintComet 3
Yeah um... You shouldn't really be trying to get anyone to have sex with you, it'd be impolite to do otherwise... Especially guys, they need a lot more moral support instead of coaxing or you'll **** them up... Bad girlfriend is bad.
murdersquirrel 15
Guess what? He wasn't ready. You don't 'coax' people into having sex with you. When it's right, there's ZERO convincing necessary.
loserman67 36
Typical male, never reads the instruction manual first. But, this begs the question, if you were naked and his penis was flaccid, sounds to me like you have bigger problems to deal with.... JMHO
meridius4510 4
Ummm those instructions are kinda built in...
murdersquirrel 15
Oh, come on! Not all guys are ******-crazed sex hounds. He just wasn't ready. Don't perpetuate the stigma that if you're male and not popping a boner at all times for a chick, then you're gay.
BunBunBabe 8
He's an idiot but that doesn't mean he won't be good at sex one day if you teach him well ... Might take patience on your part, good luck
KeyboardWarrior 10
An idiot? Ever thought he's maybe just not ready? Ignorance is bliss.
BunBunBabe 8
Yeah... An idiot. Because to try to have sex is to assume you know how to, at least the basics like BEING HARD god your more dumb than the kid who can't get laid
KeyboardWarrior 10
You don't need to know how to get hard. There's not a code you put into your penis, or some magic words you say to get it up. If you are ready, it gets hard in its own. If it doesn't, it means you are not aroused or uneasy. Both of which are symptoms of not being ready. Because you think not getting hard means you don't know how to have sex, I think you're the idiot here.
bchatzis 9
guys, to be fair he was probably flaccid because he didnt really want to do it and felt pressurised. Leave the poor lad alone.
blurvsh 10
Judging the situation, I'd say you guys were too young to be dating, much less attempting to have sex.