Today, a punk-looking college kid was making fun of my mentally handicapped son. Out of anger, I punched him in the face. I got handcuffed and thrown into a police car. The kid stood there laughing and pointing at me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, some punk got up in my face yelling at me, pushed my wife and scratched my car with a, "What you gonna do, old man?" attitude, and yet I’m the bad guy who gets arrested because I open-palm slapped him and he fell into a glass window and fucked up his face and neck, probably permanently. FML
Today, I finally had it with the redneck bully who's been tormenting me. He was repeatedly poking and pinching me and laughing out loud during class, so I slung him to the ground, pinning him. I got suspended. They only called his parents, who never do anything; my "caring" parents are looking into teen boot camp. FML
Today, some punk tried the "flaming bag of dog poop" trick on me. I caught him in the act and smashed the unlit bag across his face. Now he's "traumatized" and wants to press charges. FML
Today, some guy punched me so hard I lost a tooth. I defended myself and broke his nose, so he started screaming for his mother. He turned out to be autistic, so witnesses, including the police, said I should have been more understanding of his disability after HE HIT ME AND TOOK MY FUCKING TOOTH OUT. FML
Today, some guy tried to mug me. Shocked, I threw a punch that somehow knocked him on his ass. I'm now staring down the barrel of a lawsuit since he was apparently only 16 and "acting out" because of his shitty home life, as if I should have just handed him my wallet politely. FML
Today, I encountered a madman who threw a bottle at me and hurt me. In a fit of rage, I beat him up, and as a result I was taken to the police station, and ordered to pay compensation for everything. FML
Today, I was put in lockup for accidentally scaring the officer by lifting my hand to scratch my head. FML
Today, I had to pick my son up from school after he beat the crap out of another student. The words that made him go nuts were apparently, "You mad, bro?" FML
Today, someone punched me in the back of the head, so I swung round and broke their nose. It was some woman screaming at me for wearing headphones and ignoring her. She then pulled a hidden disability badge out her pocket so everyone thought I was beating up a disabled person. FML
Today, as I was driving to work, I witnessed a kid apparently getting jumped. Being a good citizen, I got out and started yelling at them. I ended up alongside the kid in the hospital. FML
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Top comments
NitroTonicsFML 4
Karma will him someday.
xMafia 0
OMG. That punk deserved more than just a punch in the face. What a lowlife. Don't worry, he'll get his retribution.
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Comments (306)
DakotaCat 4
Some people need a good ass kicking, this punk being one of them..
I_hate_it_all 5
Thumps up on punching him at least! And yeah just wait for karma. Someday he'll do something like that and get his ass kicked so bad that he won't ever open his mouth again
Jasper8713 2
I'm not sure about in New York, but at least here, you could easily fight that. You acted on impulse out of anger for something that was said to your son. I think here it's referred to being "not guilty due to duress".
sublime420 11
**** you OP. You don't know the meaning of Punk. Asshole.
Writingislife16 1
Seriously? Please chill, OP is not an asshole. I don't think he meant "punk" as someone who dresses in a certain way or listens to certain music. I'm pretty sure he meant the more derogatory form of the word, which I've heard used many times before. Webster's defines "punk" as being related to punk style/music or as a hoodlum. I believe OP was using the word with the latter meaning.
anorexicbarbie 8
Someone call the waaaaaaaambulance.
sublime420 11
Come to think of it, how is the appearence of the kid even relevant? No need to insult an entire subculture.
1Kiki_babe1 2
Some of the FMLs I've seen today.... Are just absolutely horrid. Hope you get your revenge OP.
Fuzzfoot 0
in the mean time- you have a kick ass story to tell and your kid will likely manage that punk at mcdonalds some day...
lovinit5683 0
Oh my gosh. For this FML I am on OP's side! Just reading this made me mad!!! I really hope that him being mental was caused by you,.
lovinit5683 0
Oh my, auto correction messed this up. Wasn't instead of was!!!******
allapologiesmygi_fml_fml 4
now that's a bitchy attitude. I'm not calling you a bitch but your acting as bad as the punk guy.
allapologiesmygi_fml_fml 4
srry. I thought you said his mental disability was cause by his dad. srry again. I agree with you
aaronkdubblea 0
I love you lol. punk deserved it
jackalope069 0
I have a cousin who is mentally handicapped, she's 25 now, but like 5 years ago this kid kept harassing her and her brother (my cousin) and he warned the guy who was harassing her but he still kept at it and finally he beat the shyt out of him. the kid tried to press charges but the cops said that he had it coming, they waived the $130 something fine and let it all square out.
Seethatguy 3
I wish that kid now had to have a sign out front of his house saying "I am an asshole that makes fun of the mentally handicapped" because I don't care about his rights anymore. Sorry, OP. He'll get his, just wait. There is justice in this world yet.